the adventures of sheena

Introducing....

2010-06-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

My new best friend! :)

Meet Gabe! He's the new addition to the Baughman household, and he sure does have a presence :) We got him from a family friend, who found him abandoned at his work. After hearing the owners didn't want him back, we decided to let him become one of us! We found out he's about four months old, and is a heeler mutt. He's given my mom & I the giggles so many times already, I know he will bring a lot of joy.

ready....set....

2010-06-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

start blogging again!

I remember when I was on the swim team, so many years ago. All the way up to the starting block I would feel dread, wondering what I was doing, why I was doing it, talking myself out of the idea that it was fun. But then the gun went off, I would dive into the water, and remember the incredible feeling of streamlining and the strokes and breaths, and it would be fun again. Even if I lost by many seconds (which I did a lot!)

I've been feeling that way with many areas of my life. Including blogging. It's not that I don't have many things to say, or don't want to keep my "followers" updated. It's that I absolutely have no idea where to begin.

So, I'm on the starting block of the adventures of sheena, and am deciding to commit to blogging again!

In a quick update, here's what I've been up to since Christmas....

January:

Subbed a lot, spent time with my amazing California friends & family, was visited by one of my great friends Tracy, sold my bed & furniture, packed my car, and flew back to the Midwest.

February:

Started the second half of my internship at Flambeau, tried to get used to the Wisconsin cold, started my last online class, wrote my thesis, and went to a School Counseling conference.

March:

Went skiing a couple times, went on a few fieldtrips, went on a weekend trip to Minneapolis, a week trip to California to present my thesis, and got a job at ICAA in Ladysmith.

April:

Finished my internship at Flambeau, finished my last class, went to New York City for 5 days with 5 incredible girlfriends, and then left for my South America adventure!

May:

Went to 4 new countries! I'll blog more about that later :)

Now I'm working full time at Indianhead CAA, and am really enjoying it. My current job title is Public Relations/Agency Assistant. I do news releases, photography, make promotional material, and more.

It's been a few months full of transitions, and I know many more are to come, but for right now, it's nice to rest and focus on things neglected in my life....like reading, piano, and blogging!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T20:49:00.000-08:00

A photo shoot for one of my best friends who is in Thailand doing missions this Christmas! My family loves her bunches, and will even go to the lengths of dressing up to show her how much we care :)

I absolutely love Christmas. Everything about it... the tree, the decorations, the celebrations, the food, the music, the Hallmark movies, and spending time with my favorite people. And of course the reason we even have Christmas, because Christ came down because of His immense love for us! I'm so blessed to be able to be home with my family this Christmas, and am soaking in every moment.

I am definitely my mother's daughter (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes....especially with those phrases I catch myself saying!), but we really are so much alike. We both sometimes have trouble paying attention, say silly things, adore children, get competitive playing cards, and enjoy the Christmas activities mentioned above. Especially the Christmas movies & music. And we thoroughly enjoy watching & listening unseasonably early. We've been known to partake in Christmas media in the spring and summer, and the Christmas lights on the outside of N371 Fern Rd. are never taken down. Our absolute favorite Christmas tune is O Holy Night (especially by Celine Dion or Josh Groban), but this year I find myself pushing the repeat button on another song. It's a song called Eternal Gifts by Kate York. The lyrics say this:

Santa knows what I want for Christmas
But Jesus knows what I need
It can’t be purchased wrapped up and placed
Under an 8 foot tree

I need patience, kindness - virtues like these
To bend on my knee at the manger

Santa may bring these that last for a year
But eternal gifts come from the Savior

Some days come where I’m playing selfish
I can’t think of no one but me
Then I think of all that I’m blessed with
And that’s always best to give than to receive

I need faithfulness, love, generosity
To open my home to a stranger

Santa may bring things that last for a year
But eternal gifts come from the Savior

I think this song struck me so much because many times (okay, a lot of the time) I am selfish. I think of the different things I want, including, but not limited to an Ipod, new eye makeup, bike, digital SLR camera, a few international plane tickets, a few lost pounds, a job as a school counselor at the right school for me, a God-honoring relationship (I am neither desperate or searching, just wouldn't complain if God brought someone my way), and for my dad to be completely cancer-free and live a long life to walk me down the aisle and be a grandfather and all that jazz. There's a long list of both insignificant and significant things that I may want, but these are things that I may not need. The list of wants will not give me long term satisfaction or joy, will not complete me, will not make me a better person (no matter how hard I try to justify it!). What I can take comfort in is the fact that my Savior does know what I need (patience, kindness, faithfulness, love generosity, etc.), and will give me those things that I ask for... but not necessarily in the ways I might expect. Those virtues and fruits of the Spirit may come through struggles and failures, such as not being able to find a job, living a long-term single life, or through losing my father. In the big picture, those gifts of the Spirit are much more important than being able to listen to 160 GB's of commercial free music on my hour-long morning commute or having the fairytale romance of the century (thank you Hallmark channel...).

What I have been challenged by this Christmas is to think about the bigger picture. I just finished the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and highly recommend it. In this book, the author talks about our lives as a story. In the movies, the character has to struggle and overcome adversary for us to be engaged. The character has to live a moving and dynamic life for us to even care about what happens. The same is true for us, life-changing events and difficult times do challenge us and change our stories to be more moving. I think of the real-life stories in the Bible, and wow, did they live dynamic lives. Miller has a chapter entitled "A Tree in a Story About a Forest", and this reminded me that although I am a part of the story, it's not all about me (I know, what a concept for an only child ;). It's not about what I want and the things I want to do, instead, it is about the qualities Jesus knows I need so that He can use me as part of His story. His story about love, forgiveness, justice, and peace. His story about loving His children so much that He came down to live and to die, so that we could know Him more. His story that will end in a victory one day, where I'm confident I won't care about losing those few pounds or riding that yellow beach cruiser.

Bigger picture is hard to look at, but I'm praying I can remember this everyday, instead of just on Jesus' birthday. I am praying that I can submit and surrender my wants and heart's desires at the feet of Jesus, and receive those eternal gifts and qualities I am so badly in need of. I am praying that I will continually trust in God to be the author of my story, and not try to control it myself. Thankfully He has given the promise of a new life with Him, and although I most likely won't get things on my perpetual want list, I will be able to sing Christmas hymns for all eternity!

the return of "the adventures of sheena!"

2009-12-21T14:18:00.001-08:00

I'm back!

It was an incredibly busy fall, and some things had to give....the blog was one of them! Here's what I was up to:

September:

I started two new classes (Career Counseling & Intervention through Consultation), and continued substitute teaching for El Monte. Because of teacher cuts, there were a lot less jobs, but I was thankful for the few I got, and so so so happy to see the students again!

October:

I had the pleasure of being in my friend Amy & Noah's wedding. It was a blast, and such a blessing to see them tie the knot! They are very special people to me, and I was able to spend some time with other family & friends in Wisconsin & Minnesota.

I started the first 300 hours of my School Counseling Internship at a Jr. High in Duarte, CA. It was definitely a GOD-thing, starting from the way I stumbled upon the opportunity, to the staff and students at the school. I was worried about where to complete my hours, and in one of my classes, the professor told us a local Jr. High was needing an intern, so I volunteered right away, and a couple days later had the position. As soon as I went to the school, I knew it was a fit for me! The secretary was a Packer's fan, the School Counselor was a Jesus-lover, and I was getting to work with middle schoolers...my favorite!

I also subbed part-time, and definitely laughed every day by the comments made by students!

November:

Continued working at my internship and subbing as much as possible!

I finished my two classes, and started another one (Ethics & Leadership)! 13 classes down, 1 more to go!

My roommate and I threw a baby shower for our friend Priscilla who is expecting her first child in January!

I was able to go to Cambria, CA, with my friends Danny, Colleen, Amanda, and Dave. My friend Dave's parents have a beautiful house on the ocean, and we were able to stay with them for two days. We got to see elephant seals, go to a winery, and a fisherman's wharf. It was a great weekend of relaxing.

I had my first visitors since I've lived in California! My mom, Aunt Dianne, Aunt Dorothy, and cousin Haily came during the week of Thanksgiving. We kept very busy sightseeing, it was wonderful being able to show people my home! We went to the beaches, Santa Monica Pier, Malibu Winery, Pasadena, San Diego, Hollywood, and more!

December:

My roommates Grandma passed away, so we went to Patterson for her celebration service. That same weekend, my roommate Lena and I went to San Francisco and met my college friend Megan and Lena's family there! It was a great weekend of lots of food and walking!

I finished up my internship in Duarte, and completed many projects before flying home to Wisconsin for the Holidays!

Now with a return to a less busy life, I hope to have more of a balance. Many times this fall I forgot to breathe, or forgot how to breathe, and I certainly can't always live like that. I am now able to have some time of rest and reflection, and will hopefully blog a little bit more :)

67 years

2009-09-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

is quite a long time. And that's the amount of years my Grandpa & Grandma Kuchta have been married! We helped them celebrate their anniversary today by building them a new deck. They were thrilled, and we had a fun time. I was happy to be behind the drill again :)

Happy Anniversary Grandpa & Grandma, you are certainly an inspiration!

In less than 1 week...

2009-09-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'll be back here! These are some photos I took this summer before I flew back to California...

I'm thrilled to be flying home to be a part of Amy & Noah's wedding in Minneapolis, and also getting to spend a week with my family at home! I'm really excited about getting a little taste of fall, I'm definitely craving the colors, the crisp air, fourwheeling at the cabin, the food (mmm...chili, cornbread, honey crisp apples) and watching the Packers with my dad!

One for One

2009-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I got home from a long (well, not exactly long, but definitely exhausting) day of teaching Kindergarten, to these!

I've wanted TOMS for a couple years, just haven't gotten around to buying them. When you buy a pair of these shoes, they give one pair to a child in need, how great is that! Get your own at: http://www.tomsshoes.com/

Roughing It....City Girl Style!

2009-09-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

10 girls. 1 boy allowed (Charlie, the beagle). Yaeger's cabin in Cornucopia, WI. Fresh air. Getting lost. Puzzle assembling. Skip-bo playing. French-press coffee. Gourmet crepes & french toast. Seasonal fruit. Walks on Lake Superior beaches. Magazine & book reading. Great story telling. Hike on the cliffs. Jumping photos. Amazing grilling. Good sleep. Canoeing to the caves. Driftwood collecting. Ferry to Madeline Island. Picnic lunch. Renting bikes. Yummy Wisconsin ice cream. Dawson's Creek/The Bachelor: Northwoods/Where the Waters Meet/Adult Scrabble Club photo shoot. Playing at beach side grounds. Eating at Maggies. Beach bonfire. S'mores with Reeses. Good conversations. Great Labor Day weekend!

After spending 3 days with these wonderful ladies, its tough to go back to the real world!

one year ago today....

2009-08-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

I moved to California!

I really like to play the "where was I one year ago" game. In reflecting where I was last year at this time, I can't believe it was only a year ago I moved from the Midwest. I never would have imagined what God would do with my life this year, it definitely has been an adventure! I'm blessed beyond belief, and thankful for where God has placed me! It really was a step out in faith, and He provided for me in every way. We'll see where He has me next year at this time! I am just one lucky girl with these amazing parents :)

Last year:

This year:

sensing some themes in my life.....

2009-08-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

adaptability. spontaneity. ability to successfully live out of a suitcase.

I know life rarely goes as planned. This summer didn't go as I thought it would. It's not a bad thing, just different. There have been many blessings, many incredible memories, and also many struggles. As I wrote in a post at the beginning of summer, I had made some goals. Well, didn't do so hot on all of them :). Instead of losing those 5 pesky pounds, I gained 10. Instead of finishing the 9 week devotional, I did 4 weeks and stopped. Instead of getting a head start on homework, and NOT procrastinating....well, I waited until the end to finish huge projects, resulting in 10 papers in 1 week and a lot of stress on my part.

There were some unexpected events that happened this summer, and I learned to just roll with them. God is my provider, my Jehovah Jireh, and I definitely leaned on Him. After I returned from my week in Wisconsin in June, my roommate Erin and I went for a 10 day adventure to her family's beach house. We changed our plans when her grandma became ill, and went to stay with her in the country instead. It was such a blessing to be there, to serve, to cook, to have great conversations with Grandma Flo, to spend that time with Erin and her family. It was unexpected, and I praised God for what He did with that week. A few days after returning, my dad's brain scan came back with new growth. I jumped on a plane three hours after hearing the news, and was with him for surgery and recovery. It was unexpected, but I praise God for His timing. After returning from this, I stayed with Lynda, my roommate Erin's mom for a few days as our air conditioning broke and Erin was in Portland and Lena was in Ethopia. It was a wonderful time to get homework done, and fellowship with Lynda, and stay cool in the 105 degree weather. It was also unexpected, and a blessing :)

I also fell in love with a family. I hung out with their girls (6, 9, & 11) once or twice a week, and it was absolutly a blessing from God. Not only did it help pay for groceries, it was a blast spending time with them, and becoming part of their family. We did things like have cannon ball contests in the pool, took turns reading aloud the American Girl books, played "American Idol", beauty contest, resturant, and other silly games. We went for bike rides, bowling, to the movies, to children's book stores and out for ice cream. We sat on the living room floor and had girl talk, played truth or dare, and laughed until the 9 year old, Bekah, would snort,. As I was driving away on my last day of hanging out with them, the 6 year old, Kristina, ran with my car and called out "I LOVE you Sheena!". Melted my heart.

I am so happy now to be in Wisconsin, resting and spending time with my incredible family and friends. It feels like I just got here, and I only have two weeks left until I'll be back to the busyness of California. It feels good to have more of a solid ground right now, as things were constantly moving this summer. It sometimes felt as if I was running, treading water, and constantly exhausted. I now feel like myself, at ease, and more laid back. Although I'm busy in Wisconsin this month, mostly because of dad's daily treatments, it is a different pace of life. I have now traded phone conversations for real ones with my closest friends and family, have traded text books for ones for fun, including Country Woman in the hospital radiaiton room, have traded my nice California tan for a farmers one while gardening and picking berries, and have been soaking in irreplacable moments....like fighting with my mom just because we need to get our sassyness out, and being held by my dad, there's no place like his arms. He took me on a long fourwheeler ride yesterday, and I just became overwhelmed in the moment. As we were riding, I knew that moment would pass by so quickly, and I want to remember everything about it, the way he drove and explained each piece of land to me as it went with his hunting stories, the way I could wrap my arms around him and feel safe, the way the breeze was, the sound of the trees, the peaceful feeling I had. I'm thankful for this month, and know it's where I'm supposed to be. I have no plans, am just living each moment, and am thankful for the things God has taught me in the last two months. I've grown, have been challenged, and I guess that's all I could hope for in a summer :)

a very merry half-birthday!

2009-06-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

My friends took me to Sea World for my birthday present....and although it was approximately 7 months late, I was THRILLED! Who knew a killer whale could make a girl so happy? The last time I saw Shamu, I was 6 years old and in Florida. I gotta say, the whale ages well, especially for his daily commute between Orlando and San Diego. It was a fantastic day filled with some of my favorite California buddies, yummy Mexican food in Old Town San Diego, shopping at a craft fair, sea life, dolphin splashes, silly shows, and take-out at La Jolla beach during sunset. Although there were a few minor issues (gum on the bottom of my purse, ice cream bar falling on the ground, red streaks down my legs, and one blister), the day was amazing, and I gotta say once more how blessed I am to have such amazing friends!

Schools out for the summer, kids....

2009-06-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

...but not for me! I started my 6 week intensive classes last week, and boy it has been rough....especially after a fantastic week in the Midwest. I guess I cannot complain, as I only have two classes, a nanny job one day a week, and get to do fun things like go to San Diego, the beach house, and Yosemite. AND then spend August in Wisconsin!

I have always loved summer, it is filled with my greatest memories. During the cold Wisconsin winters I would dream of my summer plans and goals, usually thinking I would start over on forgotten New Years resolutions. I always had good intentions to do things like not be as afraid of snakes, spend as many days at camp as I could, make giant sand castles, catch fish, and then in later years learn how to play guitar, learn how to drive stick, work out more, etc. This year is no different, as my summer goals are to have as much fun as I can while still studying, to explore California, make it through the whole Jillian Michaels workout, actually finish a Beth Moore devotional started 2 summers ago, start to paint, work on a photography project, and spend quality time with my friends and family.

I am thankful for this time I have to rest, do fun things, and also do classwork, before the busy-ness starts again in the fall. I am so blessed with the family I get to nanny for one day a week, they are incredible and so sent from God. They have 3 daughters (11, 9, 6), that are so sweet, unique, hilarious, and have already found their way into my heart. They have this amazing sense of adventure and we get to do fun things like make up cooking shows, play a Barbie board game, play in their yard with their dog Sam, and walk for ice cream. I love it. And my classes are pretty good so far. The one I'm taking in class is Sociocultural Issues in Counseling, a topic I love, as my minor was in Cross-cultural Studies. I'm excited for this class, and enjoy it as the professor is extremely quirky. AND, Colleen and I have it together, and get to giggle at his lame jokes. He already loves us, and has noticed we laugh at everything he says, which just encourages him all the more. My other class is an online one with a lot of work, so I'm thankful I'm taking it when I don't have THAT much going on in my life.

I know this summer is going to go fast, but I am so going to enjoy (hopefully) every minute of it!

Happy (late) Daddy's Day!

2009-06-23T20:31:00.001-07:00

Wow, what to say about my daddy. I truly don't have words, I get choked up just thinking about him, but I will try. Saying he is an amazing man just doesn't cut it. I could not be more proud of who he is, and how God has worked in him and through him. It's that goose-bump, heart-raising, tears-in-eyes type pride I have for him that makes words not enough.

When I was little, I wanted to be just like my daddy. When he would get home from work, I would be ecstatic, and knew that I had his full attention. He could get me out of a bad mood like nobody's business, just by singing on the top of his lungs "I Will Follow You", or giving me a whisker rub or tickle torture. Yes, I was my daddy's girl. And I still am. I do want to be like him. I desire that strength. I want his ability to learn and succeed at everything. I want his gift of teaching.

At this time that I see my daddy go through the pain of cancer and treatments, the disease that has taken his body and parts of his mind, I have the peace and assurance that God is completely in all of this. He has used my dad as a vessel for His glory, and for that, I couldn't be more proud.

minnesota, meet california. california, meet minnesota.

2009-06-06T16:02:00.000-07:00

This photo makes me smile...I love my friends!

I have to first say what incredible incredible people I have in my life. I know I say this over and over, and sound like a broken record, but it really is true. And, one of my favorite things is to introduce friends to each other! So, what better place for it to happen then at the Grand Canyon? I found out some of my bestest friends from Minneapolis were road tripping out to the Grand Canyon, and since it's only 6 1/2 hours from me (how crazy is that!), I knew I had to meet them there! So, my adventurous California buddies Danny & Colleen accompinied me to the great GC! And, it was incredible.

We took off early (ish) on Saturday morning, and were wondering how the weekend would go, after looking at the weather and seeing the 60% chance of thunderstorms all 3 days we would be there! It rained a little on the way there, which provided some fun shots, as well as an incredible sky and super green trees.

We got to the Grand Canyon area, and had to look for a camping site. Since it was Memorial Day weekend, of course everything was booked....so we camped in the National Forest for free! We set up our tents close to some others, then went to watch the sunset over the canyon. It was gorgeous, and we had fun climing around on the rocks (mom, don't worry, Colleen and I were safe...Danny on the other hand, we were worried about him).

We got back to our tents, and the people that were camping right next to us were there. We asked them if it was okay if we tented next to them, and they said no problem. They asked where we were from, to which we replied "California". We in turn asked where they were from, and they said "WISCONSIN"! I said no way, that is where I grew up, where are you all from? They were a college group from Stevens Point, how random! One of the guys asked where in Wisconsin I was from, and I told him it was close to Ladysmith....and guess what....he is from Ladysmith! I knew him from High School, we have some mutual friends. Small world, isn't it?

Sunday morning we woke up, packed up our stuff, and went hiking. I was so excited to be able to spend some time at the Grand Canyon, and I must say, the view from the top is beautiful, but the view from hiking down into the canyon is incredible! We had our lunch packed, our camel packs filled with water, and were ready to go. The way down was so much fun, but I was unsettled because I saw the look of pain and frustration on those that were on their way back up. We said "hello" all cheery to them, and they looked at us and said "enjoy the way down, that's the fun part!". I took all the photos on the way down, because I knew I would have to concentrate on the way back up :). On the way back up, I told Colleen how much I wanted a shower, and as I finished the sentance, the thunder cracked and it downpored! It rained most of the way back up, which was refreshing.

After our hike, we got some food, firewood, and went to my friends campsite! I was so excited for my friends to meet each other, I could hardly contain myself. I knew Danny and DK would hit it off, as they share the same birthday, the same name, both went to private schools and worked at Jewish Community Centers. We ate dinner and had S'mores over the fire, and laughed hystarrically at DK's blind dating stories.

Monday we woke up and walked around the Canyon, it was so much fun to just be in the presence of my Minnesota friends. We took some great photos, ate a picnic lunch, and enjoyed the view! It was a fabulous Memorial Day weekend, and I can't wait until I get to be reunited with them in August, and again in October for Amy & Noah's incredible wedding! And, my friends hit it off so much they are now Facebook friends :)

Love these girls!!!

today it was....

2009-05-18T16:50:00.000-07:00

"Ms. B, you look just like the girl in 17 Again". (Said by two girls wearing Zac Efron t-shirts)

"Ms. B, you sound just like my mom". No sweetie, I sound like my mom :)

And this....was said with the teacher in the room....
Student: "Ms. B, can you be our teacher forever?"
Teacher: "You want Ms. B to finish out the year with you?"
All Students: "YES!"

Ouch. I think the poor teacher was ready to let me have her class, she was tired!

prom date?

2009-05-16T11:31:00.001-07:00

I love being a substitute teacher. It's of course tough sometimes, because students like to act up with subs, but every day is different, and I hear the funniest things, I wish I could remember them all. It's been good to be back to work this month, and I'm sad school is ending soon. Here are some of the funny things that happen in my day:

Kindergarten:
- I had 35 students one day. And a fire drill. And one student wet their pants. Kindergarten is crazy.

- I had a girl walk up to me, look me up and down, and give me the thumbs up sign. She was the cutest chubbiest girl.

1st:
- Student: "Ms. B, are you from Mexico?"
Me: "No, I moved here from Wisconsin."
Student: "What language do they speak there?"
Me: "English."
Student: "English is your first language? You sound funny."

2nd:
- Student: "Have you always been that tall?"
Me: "Yes, even when I was in 2nd grade."
Student: "Really? No, I saw that wink, you are lying."

3rd:
- Student: "Ms. B, are we being bad?"
Me: "Well, we just need to make better choices"
Student: "GUYS, LETS MAKE BETTER CHOICES TODAY!"

4th:
- Student, after I stood up from chair..."Oh my God you are HUGE"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "Oh, huge like tall, not fat. Sorry, your just really tall, it surprised me"

5th:
- Student (after watching the 5th grade boys "movie") "Ms. B, you are so lucky you didn't have to watch that. I learned too much. My eyes are burning"

-"Ms. B, you can't stop the movie, we're just getting to the epic part!"

-"Ms. B, are you married yet? Because Alex is in love with you".

6th:
- "Ms. B, can you please please please come watch our dodgeball tournament at lunch? I want you to cheer for our class!"

7th:
-"Ms. B, you are like the coolest teacher alive. Can you work here like full time?"

-Student: "Ms. B, how do you pronounce your last name?"
Me: "Its pronounced Baufman. The gh makes the f sound, like in laugh or cough"
Student: "Oh, are you German?"

8th:
-"Ms. B, your eyes are so green. They are the color of money".

-Student: (a young man) "Ms. B, I like your watch. How much did it cost?"
Me: "I don't know, I got it at Target"
Student: "Why didn't you get a more expensive watch, aren't you a millionaire?"
Me: "Do I look like a millionaire?"
Student: "Well yes, Ms. B, I thought all millionaires were gorgeous like you".

11th:
- I was at a wealthier school district for high school, and I have never seen so many skinny girls and designer purses. I felt frumpy.

- I had a student showing his nipple ring with the new glow in the dark ball to students when I turned off the lights to watch a movie. I had to tell him to put that thing away.

- I also had a 5 minute conversation with a girl about nose rings. She came back at the end of the day to talk to me about other things too. She was the only normal looking girl I saw all day (i.e. wasn't size 000, wasn't powdering her nose and applying mascara every 5 minutes, and didn't have any designer wear). She was real and beautiful, I'm glad she came and talked to me.

12th:
-Student: "Is it Ms. or Mrs.?"
Me: "It's Ms."
Student: "YESS, you aren't married yet"

-"Ms. Baughman, will you go to the prom with me on Saturday? I'm 18, so it isn't illegal".

-"Um, I don't know if this is weird or not, but Chip B. told me to tell you he's in love with you"

-I also got passed a note that said "Ms. Baughman, do you like me? Yes No Maybe, circle one and pass back".

Happy (late) Mothers Day Mom!

2009-05-11T20:46:00.001-07:00

Oh, how I love this woman. She is amazing. I don't have all the words to describe her. This year, it took me forever to find a perfect card for her. I really struggled in Target. There were no cards that showed our relationship just right. Sure, there were the funny ones that I knew she would love, and the sappy ones that would make her cry, but none were just right. So I wrote a huge long card on my own....a sheena original :).

She is my best friend, my source of peeing my pants laughter, my confidant, my encourager, my challenger, the pain in my bottom at times, the voice in my head that tells me to take a jacket in the morning, my teacher, the one who inspires me, the one who can tell me like it is, and my hero. We share an incredible and unique bond, I couldn't be happier of the person God placed in my life. I could go on and on about how amazing she is, and how proud I am of her.... :)

Since I couldn't spoil my momma for mothers day, I was able to spoil 3 mothers at the McGee family beach house! Erin, Lena, & I went Friday night, and it was so refreshing to smell the sea air. We got out of the car and heard the sea lions, they welcomed us there! Lena left early in the morning to be with her momma, but Erin and I stayed until Sunday evening. I got to meet the celebrity Gramma Flo, and had a blast with Erin's family. Although the weather was cloudy and chilly, it was amazing. We watched dolphins, played frisbee and t-ball on the beach, and just hung out. Oh, and ate. We ate good. Our menu included apple fritters, chicken/cranberry/walnut salad, steak and chicken kabobs with grilled peppers/onions/mushrooms/pineapple, strawberry cheesecake parfait, banana walnut overnight french toast, mozerella sticks, bacon wrapped filet mignon, beer broiled brats, potatoes/onions, toast, asparagus, and peach crosiants.

I got to know Erin's fam a lot better at the beach house. I found out that her sister Jamie likes pranks. And one was unintentionally on me. :) It was supposed to be for Erin, but I walked into the trap before they could stop me. Jamie put a twisty tie on the sprayer in the kitchen sink....so as I turned on the water to wash my hands, I got soaked. I stood there in shock, and it took me awhile to figure out that I needed to turn off the water. After this, the game was on. My family is always full of pranks, and life at camp has prepared me for such instances as this. After going over the menu, I knew dessert was the perfect time for some retaliation. So, I froze mayonnaise. Which looks exactly like ice cream when frozen. Which went perfectly over the peach crossiant dessert. Jamie took a bite, while her husband Chris videotapped. And she tried to be so polite, and calmly asked me what kind of ice cream it was. I turned around the carton, and calmly said "Oh, its slow churned vanilla". Everyone else was savoring their dessert, and Jamie took another spoonful of only the crossiant. Erin then started laughing, and Jamie knew it wasn't right. We are now even, although I somehow think there are still more pranks to come!

It was a fantastic weekend at a fantastic place, and I'm thankful for all those in my California family! And, I will be able to spoil my mom in a month when I go to visit :)

to deceive

2009-05-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

–verb (used with object)

1.	to mislead by a false appearance or statement; delude: They deceived the enemy by disguising the destroyer as a freighter.

2.	to be unfaithful to (one's spouse or lover).

3.	Archaic. to while away (time).

–verb (used without object)

4.	to mislead or falsely persuade others; practice deceit: an engaging manner that easily deceives.

I subbed a 7th & 8th grade lower English class yesterday. My students rotated in 25 minute blocks, with me, independently, and with an aide. With me, we went through some vocabulary worksheets, and had great conversations. One of the words was appropriate to the week I've had. to deceive.

The textbook gave such examples of deceive as as:

- "We're going to pull weeds today. It will be so much fun!" (actually, in my mom's case, this is not deceiving....she really does make it fun!)

- "If you don't forward this e-mail to 7 people, they will die"

- "Tell me your secret, I promise I won't tell a soul"

These are okay examples, but here are some better ones....straight from my own life this week....

- A woman leaves with her lover. Leaves her husband, her children, her grandchildren. Leaves a job at a business, where the owners have recently had tragedy. Doesn't tell to anyone's face, instead writes a note. Pretends for months, while planning, that everything is okay. Lies in the face of so many. And why? Because its "her turn" to be happy. Entitlement. To deceive.

- A man leaves his wife for another woman. They were married a year and a half. Out of the blue, he throws her out. She thought they were happy. To deceive.

- A guy uses a girl for money. She thought she knew him and his intentions. To deceive.

I am angry, I am sad. I hurt for the people in my life that I am close to, and the effect the "deceivers" have. I am upset that one person can cause so much damage in the lives of many. And do they realize it? That's the sad thing....they actually know what they are doing, what will happen, and do it anyway. The ripple effect even one choice has is overwhelming. To see my family and friends, and myself hurt is overwhelming. It's hard to see the good in humanity right now.

But it's there. Although there are multiple "tragedies" going on in my life right now (seriously, who said bad things happen in 3's? This year, its more like bad things happen in 8's...and it's only May!), I know there will be blessings. A lot of people do choose good. The way people have helped out my family has been good. The way people have been there for me has been good. And the ripple effect that has is also overwhelming. We have to look to find it, but it's there. And I know all things work for the good of those who love HIM and are called according to HIS purpose. Although there is a lot of darkness, God will do good through this. And I am called to have hope. I am called to love these "deceivers" even though I honestly would like to slap some sense into them (or punch some sense into them...). They are still God's children, and loved by Him. Oh Lord, please help me remember that :)

I'm Back!

2009-04-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

I've been back in California now for a week....and boy it has been busy! It was quite the ordeal getting back....I flew out of Minneapolis at 3:00pm, landed in Denver at 3:30pm, waited for my 5:30pm flight, which was delayed until 6:30 because they had to change the pilots seat, and was also overbooked, so I opted to fly on another flight to California that left at 9:30pm to get a free flight, it was delayed until 12am because two planes were broke....

But I made it, and now have a free flight to use before next April! Here's what I've been up to this week:

Tuesday: Got to my house from the airport at 2am, went to sleep at 3, woke up full of energy at 7. I cleaned, did laundry, and got organized. I met my friend and new classmate Colleen for Jamba Juice, then we went to class. Class got out early, so I went with Priscilla and Sarah to Pasadena to a leadership matrix conversation with Erwin McManus.

Wednesday: Slept in. Went on a long walk. Went to Colleen and Danny's new apartment in Pasadena, and ate lunch with Colleen and her brother-in-law Ben. We also walked on Colorado Blvd. in Pasadena, and went to 21 Choices, for frozen yogurt. Amazing place. We then went to class.

Thursday: I packed a lunch and went to sunset beach for a few hours. I returned home and Lena and I went grocery shopping for Friday's birthday party for Danny & Jason.

Friday: Colleen, Danny and Ben came over at 9am, I made them breakfast and we headed out for Disney! But...Disney was "blacked out" to our season passes, so we headed to Newport Beach and Balboa Island. We came back for the party, where my roommates and I made pesto pizza, pizookies, and strawberry cheesecake parfait! We had many guests, and it was so nice to see my Cali friends.

Saturday: I went to the Flower Festival in Carlsbad with the ladies from Mosaic. Sarah, Priscilla, Samantha and I rode together. The flower fields were gorgeous, and I had a great time taking pictures. After the flower fields, we went to the beach to relax, and it was much needed.

Sunday: Church! I was so excited to go back to my church. It was great to see everyone, and the message was on Brokenness, which was very fitting! After church, a few of us went out for lunch, then I headed to a sex trafficking rally.

Monday: Sick with a cold. Went for a walk, watched Chuck. Did pilates and went rollerblading with Priscilla.

Its great to be back, although its hard just talking to my parents on the phone and not being there in person. I've woken up a few times in California thinking I'm in Wisconsin, and that has been strange. I'm getting used to being back, and can't say enough how wonderful my friends are in California. It's really a wonderful place to be!

Pulled

2009-04-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. I'm trying to prepare my heart and mind for returning to California, but it's hard. Really hard.

I constantly feel pulled in two directions. I long to travel, to explore, to experience, to get out of my comfort zone. I long to fly. On the other hand, I long to be close to my family, to be connected to my small town, to be in a place where yes, everybody does know my name. I long to have roots. I feel a pretty much 50-50 to these two areas. Why? Why can't I just be one or the other?

I am excited for what California brings when I go back. I feel much more sure about going there than I did last August when moving. I have a community. I have incredible friends. I have a great and flexible job. I love my program. But my heart honestly breaks at leaving my parents. My whole life has changed. I have changed. California has changed. Where do I fit?

I sat on my bed just crying, and thought about the thousand other times I've cried in that bed for the 18 years I've had it. I thought, surely this time it is the worst. The situation is the worst. But no, there will always be something else, and that's life. And although I think things are hard now, I will be able to look back on this and know the growth that came from it. Just like I have with my other "break-downs" of break-ups, disappointments, fears, failures, and other trials. I can say with full confidence that God will use this, and will use me. He will provide. He will uplift me. He will renew me. He will restore my soul.

O LORD, please guard and guide my heart, for it is unsure, it is hurting. You know my heart, and I wait on you. Where You lead me, Lord, I will follow. I place my trust in You.

Psalm 28:6-8

⁶ Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

⁷ The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

⁸ The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Woah...

2009-03-31T09:58:00.001-07:00

It's been about 2 months since I've written....and I need to fix that! I may feel this way right now as I'm procrastinating on my counseling final action plan that is due in a few days..... :)

A lot has happened within the last two months. Here's a glimpse:

Dad started chemo and radiation. Drove 2.5 hours every day to treatments for 30 days. Sang in car with my parents to "I'll Fly Away" every morning. Homework. Lots of homework for online classes. Read the Shack out loud to my parents. Got used to living in Sheldon again. Visited the Twin Cities. Saw Tyrone Wells, Drew Holcomb, and Dave Barnes in Twin Cities. Ate at Pizza Luce multiple times. Celebrated with Amy & Noah on their engagement. Spent time with quality friends. Analyzed Educational Philosophy. Read whole Advanced Psych book (I never do this....). Took many walks with my mom. Walked on the river (on the ice). Started jogging on treadmill. Cooked. Cleaned. Shoveled lots of snow. Learned how to plow driveway with the tractor. Prayed with my parents every night. Spent a lot of time with kids. Loved being a part of Sheldon Church of Christ again. Shopped. Made 4 mixed CD's. Got addicted to iTunes. Got new glasses. Had a surgery. Reconnected with old friends. Made new friends. Made a necklace. Scanned old pictures. Read Wide Awake to parents. Memorized new Bible verses. Had a small group. Loved having Tati visit from Brazil, Danine visit from Colorado, and Erin & Lena visit from California. Roadtripped to Chicago and celebrated with Colleen & Danny. Celebrated the end of dad's first round of treatments. Explored the woods. Watched the ice go out of the river. Played in the mud. Cried a lot. Laughed a lot. Hugged a lot. Saw many turkeys, raccoons, birds and other fun wildlife. Made new recipes. Danced with my mom in the living room. Had family get togethers. Learned from professors and classmates. Learned from family and friends. Learned from God.

I'm going back to California in less than 2 weeks, and have mixed feelings. I am so excited to go back because I miss my friends and "new family" there, but I know leaving my family in Wisconsin will hurt my heart. I know I've changed. I've grown. I'm broken in some areas. I feel like I've aged many years in the last 4 months. I know that my life must go on, and it is in California now. But leaving here is going to be tough. I am SO glad I have an amazing community in California, and God has taken care of me this far, so why won't He continue to, right? :) I can honestly say, I couldn't have done this without my Lord.

With only two weeks left in Wisconsin, I still have much to do....including: finish final counseling action plan; go to Flambeau High School Musical; celebrate with Caramy & Bryce's bridal shower; see family; play piano in church; spend time my grandparents; read more to my parents; clean out the woods with mom; spend some time at the cabin; have deep & real conversations with my dad; see friends; get hugs from my 'little guy' Henry; play cards with my mom; pack; and prepare my heart for ending my time in Wisconsin, and beginning again in California. Life is not dull, it is such an adventure, and I'm so thankful for the people God has placed in my life. :)

Best Superbowl Party!

2009-02-03T13:55:00.001-08:00

This year was the best Superbowl Party by far! My dad, mom & I sat watching the game. We had a great time just spending time together, mom and I learned a LOT more about football, and dad was in his glory teaching us! :)

Another Update!

2009-02-03T07:31:00.001-08:00

It has been a month since the brain tumors were found. I think back to that day, and it feels like a year ago! I can't believe how much life has been lived in one month.

On January 4th, 2009, we got a fresh start. Just a few days earlier, my dad and I sat on our heat storage unit in our basement (one way we can warm up in the cold!), and I asked him "Daddy, what are you excited for this year?". I looked at the pain in his eyes, and he said "I honestly can't think of anything....how about you?". As a chatty daughter, I went on and on about the things I was excited for, and asked him "Aren't you excited for those things too?". He just looked tired, and gave me a half smile. This wasn't my father. It wasn't the man that throughout my whole life had been genuinely filled with excitement about the littlest things. This was a man that was tired. Exhaustion was written on his face, on all of his features. He was not looking forward to anything about 2009.

That all changed after January 4th. I just reminded him a few days ago about our conversation on January 1st. I asked him again "Daddy, now what are you excited for this year?". And the list went on and on, with light in his eyes instead of pain, with excitement in his voice instead of exhaustion. He has become a new man. He wakes up refreshed every morning, whereas before he would wake up because of intense pain. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see his cheery face so early in the morning (and throughout the whole day!). He has such a positive attitude, even though some could view this as the worst thing in the world. Even though he has been through much pain, and will continue to, it is God that defines him, and not his ailments. I am filled with so much love and pride for him as a daughter! I cried last night thinking about the overwhelming love I have for him, and God just said "Sheena, its not even CLOSE to my love for him!".

Dad spoke at Sheldon Church of Christ on Sunday, on some things he's learned in this last month. If you would like to hear the message, you can visit: http://www.sheldonchurch.com/sermon-archive. Dad also has a new blog, to post some of his older messages, as well as some new thoughts. If you would like to see the blog, it can be found at: http://kevinbaughman.blogspot.com/

We thank you so much for your prayers and support, the amazing comments you've left and cards you've sent. If it weren't for the wonderful community God has placed us in, this would be a much tougher circumstance!

Things to pray about:

- Dad starts treatments on Thursday, both radiation & chemo at the same time.

- Dad has finally been able to taste food, and this is such a blessing! Its hard to understand how something so simple can be SO valuable, and we'd like prayers for his taste and appetite during treatments.

- Dad still has double vision, although he's found when he tips his head way down, the images come together into one! We are praying for all the circuits to "weld" together again soon!

- We pray that the treatments zap this cancer, and that it will be completely gone! We know God is SO much bigger than cancer!

“My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.”
(Psalm 63:8)

caution: not for the weak kneed

2009-01-29T12:53:00.000-08:00

My eye looks better! You can tell how awful it is if THIS is better! I'm just thankful its not AS painful as it has been the last couple days....and now....I'm just waiting for it to explode! :)

p.s. my blog background matches my eye perfectly!

ouch!

2009-01-28T20:14:00.001-08:00

I returned to Wisconsin from a week in California on Saturday. I was able to finish up my classes and had an incredible time with my California friends! It was an amazing week, and I'm so blessed to have had the chance to get to know people out there.

Ouch #1: I returned to the frigid temps (and ouch, it hurts!), but my family makes it so worth it. When I got to my house, I felt so excited to see my dad. I ran downstairs to see him, and he stood up from his chair at the computer, and gave me a huge hug. He pulled me away and looked at my face, touched every part of it, and tears were in his eyes. He said 'Welcome Home Sheena, I am SO happy to see you, my heart feels so incredibly happy, and I've been waiting for you!'. He rubbed my cheek and pulled me close to give me another hug, and just told me how much he loves me and cares for me. He said he had been pacing all day, just waiting for me to arrive. He kept on saying to my mom, 'I think I hear her, please go check the door to see if she's arrived!'.

I've thought of this precious time all week, will wake up thinking of it. And as it's played through my mind over and over, all I can think of is my Heavenly Father, and how he waits to greet us into his loving embrace in Heaven. He paces and can't wait to say 'Welcome Home, I'm SO happy to see you, my heart feels so incredibly happy, and I've been waiting for you!'. What a homecoming that will be!

Ouch #2 is.....I have an extremely infected eye. And it hurts. Bad. Possibly the most pain I've been in. I got an infection in the same place when I was in South Africa in April, and this is much like it, but worse. When I wake up in the morning, I can't open my eye because it is so swollen, and a red-purplish color. The doctor gave me some antibiotic creme to put in my eye. I also was able to pick out new glasses, since the only ones I have are very old and I can't see out of them!

Ouch #3: I have been very attacked spiritually. I have dreams where I'm being attacked, but have someone close to me with me. I wake up with bruises on my arms, and just feeling down and heavy. Things are going great at home, and we're constantly having conversations with God, and Satan does not like it. So....the attacks are strong. But, I have a huge support network praying for me and my family! "Bad days" from pre-January 4th seem like a joke now! :) My family's new circumstances puts everything in perspective.

I'm thankful that God is the Great Physician, and heals this "ouches", whether it is here on earth, or in heaven!

I thought I was ready for '09....

2009-01-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize when I was excited for 2009 that it could be this tough, right from the beginning. Last Sunday, I took my dad to the E.R., after he passed out in my arms, and they found he had two brain tumors. A whirlwind of a week later, they have removed both tumors, but found he has the most aggressive brain cancer, Glioblastoma.

In the uncertainty of life, I lean on Jesus. In the uncertainty of if/when I will return to California, I lean on Jesus. In the uncertainty of my father's life, I lean on Jesus. And I know He will get my family through this.

Here is the Caring Bridge website I set up for my Dad: www.caringbridge.org/visit/kevinbaughman

Happy 90th Grandma!

2009-01-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night was my Grandma Baughman's 90th Birthday! I love her so much, and have such a special bond with her. She took care of me many times as a child, and I loved going to her house to spend time with her and Grandpa (and they only live a few miles away!). I have so many memories of playing at her house, cooking with her, watching cartoons she had, going camping with her and grandpa, listening to her records, and more. This summer I was able to spend a lot of time with her, having deep discussions, talking over pictures, and then road tripping to California. Even though I'm in California now, I still get to talk on the phone with her at least once a week! I was blessed to go out to eat with her tonight, and was blessed to be able to see her a few times while I was home for Christmas! Love you Grandma and I wish you MANY more years, and can't wait to spend time with you again!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T14:45:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve is always a good time for some reflections on the year. For me, 2008 was filled with adventure, hard-decisions, feeling peace after making hard decisions, painful stories from those I worked with, joy from the many children in my life, fun and random times with old friends, fun and random times with new friends in a new place, and ending it with some great memories with a hometown Christmas. Most importantly in 2008, I saw God's love, His power, His grace, and His dream for me more than I have ever seen or experienced. I learned more about myself, more about relationships, more about the field I'm going in to, and more about the Jesus who loves me and gave Himself for me.

I am so ready for 2009 though, I'm awful at writing 8's.

AND I'm excited to see what God will do in me and through me and others this year. Bring on more exciting adventures, hard times, and growth!

My resolutions for 09'
1. Find a way to get to country #24
2. Learn more Spanish
3. Learn how to whistle (Lena, I already bought the lifesavers).
4. See Disneyland at every season.
5. Use my gifts in ways I haven't before.

perfect proposal...

2008-12-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

I was so blessed yesterday to be a part of the engagement of my friends Danny & Colleen! Danny had asked me last weekend to help with the proposal, and I was thrilled to accept! I asked Colleen to spend the day with me, starting with frozen yoguart at Golden Spoon, then at Laguna Beach to go Geo Caching with my "new GPS" (a little lie....I borrowed it from my friend Priscilla!) We were "hunting for treasure" and the treasure was Danny! It was the most perfect day, and I was able to document it....only taking 610 pictures! They are a wonderful couple, and I can't wait to see what God brings their way!

week experiences...

2008-12-13T09:54:00.000-08:00

Here's some things I experienced while subbing this week:

6th Grade:

Student: "Ms. Baughman, say Lettuce and then spell CUP backwards"
Me: "Sweetie, I invented that when I was in the 6th grade"
Student: "Really?"
Me: "Yes, its true".

Student: "Ms. Baughman, spell PIG backwards!"
Me: "Right...."

I also got to watch the kids practice Thriller for their Christmas show. 95 6th graders acting like MJ....

4th Grade:

"Ms. B, are you a teenager?"

"Ms. B, watch, I can blow smoke out of my ears" as he proceeded to blow up his cheeks with air, and actually try to blow smoke out of his ears....

"Ohhhh teacher, I like your nails, they are pretty."

8th Grade:

"Ms. Baughman, are you German? You look German"

"Ms. Baughman, you are SO tall, do you play basketball? You look like a sporty woman"

I got to watch the 8th graders do the Cha Cha Slide for their P.E. grade.... who knew P.E. could be that fun? Where was the Cha Cha Slide when I was in 8th grade?

Kindergarten:

I had a little girl keep on whispering in my ear, here are somethings she said:
Student: "Teacher, I love you teacher."
Me: "Oh thank you sweetie"

Student: "Can you take me home with you?"
Me: "Oh I would love to, but I can't"
Student: "Well then can you come to my home, or I could come to your home?"
Me: "Sorry sweetie, we'll just have to have some fun here before you go home"

I also had a boy with seizures in my classroom, with a helmet. He was adorable. I wanted to take all the kids home with me!

I love my job, but am thankful someday I will be at just ONE school, and get to create relationships with those students!

"Everything About You"

2008-12-11T16:07:00.000-08:00

I typically hate e-mail forwards with a passion, but this particular exercise was pretty fun (and you'll understand the blog entry title when you see the last question.) I cant' believe I did 2 of these in 1 day....I am really procrastinating here on my papers....

So here's what I had to do...

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle (or windows media player).

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Make a fun/silly/witty comment on your answer.

1.What is your motto?
"Uncreated One" by Chris Tomlin
I guess its cool having a song that praises God as my motto

2.What do your friends think of you?
"No Place to Hide" by Alison Krauss
Hmm...they want to hide when I'm around? Sad!

3.What do you think about very often?
"I Need to Know" by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Okay...

4. What is 2+2?
"Big Pimpin" by JayZ
I'm ghetto like that.

5.What do you think of your best friend?
"Constellations" by Jack Johnson
My best friend is a star!

6.What do you think of the person you like?
"Sent from Heaven" by Keysha Cole
Hahaha.... this is great

7. What is your life story?
"Stars and Boulevards" by Augustana
I guess I do live in Los Angeles....

8.What do you want to be when you grow up?
"America" by Simon & Garfunkel
Hmm...if I wanted to be a country, not sure I'd want to be America!

9.What do you think when you see the person you like?
"Am I An Idiot?" by Five Iron Frenzy
Hahaha, again, so funny

10.What do your parents think of you?
"Show Me Your Glory" by Third Day
God did when he made me? I was a miracle.... :)

11.What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Sway" by Michael Buble
Hmm...I will have to remember this.

12. What will they play at your funeral?
"Prayer" by Celine Dion
I'm really getting lucky here with the songs!

13. What is your hobby/interest?
"Losing Grip" by Avril Lavigne
Okay...I spoke too soon!

14. What is your biggest secret?
"Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" by Van Morrison
I'm not secretly in love with anyone...not that I know of!

15. What do you think of your friends?
"Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFarrin
I am very happy when I'm with my friends!

16. What's the worst thing that could happen?
"Kill" by Jimmy Eat World
Oh my goodness! HAHAHA That would be bad....

17.How will you die?
"Take Time and Find" by Early November
I guess I will have to!

18. What makes you laugh?
"Here I Am" by Michael W. Smith
I guess I make myself laugh?

19.What makes you cry?
"Better Together" by Jack Johnson
Hmm...

20. Will you ever get married?
"Never Sometimes" by New Found Glory
Oh sad...

21. What scares you the most?
"Great Indoors" by John Mayer
I would rather be outside...but I don't think the indoors is scary!

22. Does anyone like you?
"Give it Up or Let Me Go" by Dixie Chicks
I guess not? I think I'm getting the picture I should give up on love!

23. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
"College Kids" by Relient K
I went to college....and didn't do anything stupid...so I guess I wouldn't change it!

24. What hurts right now?
"Heaven Breaks" by Sleeping at Last
Hmmm again...

25. Now for the title of this blog entry...
"Everything About You" by Sanctus Real
Wow, appropriate! Strange....

26. Lastly, what is the one thing you regret?
"Damage Done" by Shaun Groves
I guess I do regret any damage I've done!

Picture Tag!

2008-12-11T12:09:00.001-08:00

I was tagged on Sarah's blog.....1st might I add, so I thought I better do this!

So here are the rules of this game:

1. Choose the 4th picture folder on your computer

2. Choose the 4th picture

3. Explain the picture

4. Choose 4 people to do the same

My photo:
This photo was taken in 2005 I believe, after my best friend Tracy and I moved in together at the Palisades in Roseville! This was our first day in our new place, and we were putting together our computer desk (yes, we sat just like that and did our homework like that for a year and a half!) and we thought it was hilarious how small Tracy's chair was compaired to mine! She got hers at IKEA, and we had to figure out how to put it together, and it would break all the time throughout the years we lived together! Funny, she e-mailed me this fall and said she had to put it together once more, she still uses it!

This was fun to reminice!

I am tagging:

1. Sarah Burbank
2. Jamie
3. Mariko
4. Jaci

(Sorry to Lena & Erin's friends....not many people read my blog that have blogs, so I choose you! :)

commissioned!

2008-12-09T15:56:00.000-08:00

On Sunday night I went through the commissioning ceremony at Mosaic, and it was amazing. Being commissioned means I am now part of the volunteer staff at the Inland Empire Mosaic. I went through the core values, called the Life in Christ with my friend Sarah, and this was a very special time. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to finally have a church, other than the one I grew up in. When living in Minneapolis, I never really clicked with a church, never had that community, so its so special to me now! It was wonderful to be at the commissioning service, surrounded by my new close friends. We sang Christmas songs, had a message, and then had prayer. Those in my small group surrounded me and prayed over me. It means so much to me to have people in my life that will support and uplift me, people that are so real, sincere, and intentional. I am certainly blessed!

The craziest thing, I met a new wonderful couple on Sunday night, and they had found my blog months ago, and they came to the church, and we met!

viva the vegas?

2008-12-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

Lena & I went to Vegas this last weekend for her company's Christmas party. We had a good time, although we're not big fans of the Vegas. Here are some highlights:

- The huge room at Planet Hollywood, with the most comfortable beds, dual sinks, and amazing bath tub!

- Lena screaming in her sleep from dreaming of a "huge snail". Scared the crap out of me!

- Seeing some of the cool architecture with the hotels.

- Watching the Bellagio water fountain show thing, felt like I was on Oceans 11!

- Free food. Free good food.

- Coming home.

Being in Vegas just made my heart hurt. Although Lena and I had a good time, I felt like I had to wash Vegas off of me when getting home. I just felt dirty, even though I did nothing dirty. Walking down the street and getting obscene stares and gestures isn't very fun. And I wasn't asking for it, wearing a winter coat, flat shoes, and ponytail. Maybe it would have been better if I had a guy with me, but, I had the gorgeous Lena :). Walking in the casinos and seeing the table and pole dancers, and worse the dirty men staring at them, isn't fun either. It disgusts me to see people so drunk they can no longer stand, or think. It just made me feel extremely sad, seeing so many lost and broken people, trying to fill themselves in "sin city". I'm not judging, just wish they could experience real joy and love, not cheap thrills. So, I probably won't return, but am thankful I was able to spend a free weekend there with wonderful Lena!

thanksgiving in salinas!

2008-12-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with Lena & her family! We left early Thanksgiving morning for Salinas, got to her parents home at about noon, and then went to her grandparents home for the Thanksgiving meal. It was an amazing meal, and so fun to meet her whole family! On Friday we went shopping, then saw the new James Bond movie. On Saturday, we went to Monterey, then drove to Big Sur, and loved the drive. Sunday we had church, then roadtripped back to our place. It was an absolutly beautiful weekend, the weather couldn't have been more perfect! Amazing weather, fantastic food, and wonderful family made for a great Thanksgiving! And now....we're going to Las Vegas this weekend for Lena's company's Christmas party!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

never a dull day....

2008-12-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

I love 6th graders. Especially at the school I was at today.

I had identical twins. One was in my class, one was in another, but I've had her before. They switched on me today, changed clothes in the bathroom, and changed classes. And they got me, until another student let it slip after class! I talked to the other teacher, and they fooler her too! Oh kids, gotta love them. They are almost geniuses. :)

soooo thankful!

2008-11-29T22:40:00.000-08:00

I just can't get over how thankful I am for my life, and how thankful I am to be where I am. On Tuesday after my class, I was surprised by my roommates Erin & Lena, Sarah & Scot, and Priscilla & Andrew for my birthday! I was so shocked, they threw me a wonderful surprise party! They had the place decorated with balloons, had amazing fall treats on the table, and fabulous gifts! They were so intentional with everything, and I loved it. They even contacted my mom to get my favorite dessert recipe, the Creamcheese Pumpkin Roll! It was such a wonderful night, and I certainly feel blessed to have these people in my life!

Another thing I'm thankful for is the season pass to Disneyland! Erin and I went on Wednesday, because we didn't have school! It was a wonderful 5 hours of fun! It was so relaxing, even though it rained a little! The clouds were gorgeous, and the rain didn't bother us at all! We went on many rides, ate corndogs for lunch, met Mickey, I skipped with goofy, and had my picture taken with Aladin! I'm really thankful for being able to act like a kid, even though I'm 24 now! I heart Disney...

Question of the day:

2008-11-25T16:05:00.000-08:00

"Ms. Baughman, how do you pick your nose when you have a nose ring?"
-asked by a 6th grader

You don't want to know. And if you do, ask Tracy :)

Happy Birthday Dad!

2008-11-24T16:38:00.001-08:00

Today is my favorite man's birthday :-) I couldn't be more proud of the man he is, and I've had the awesome gift of watching his character grow every year!

Love you Daddy!

I am dreaming tonight...

2008-11-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

of a place called home, even more than I usually do...

I'll admit it, this week is really hard for me to be away from home for. It's not that I'm miserable in California, because I truly do love living here, it's that my heart is longing for the Thanksgiving week in Wisconsin. Maybe it's born in me (since mom's water broke while packing venison...), but this is my favorite holiday.

I was up early today, mostly because I can no longer sleep in, but also because I was thinking of my dad and the guys, praying for them, and just imagining their excitement. I was able to talk to him last night, he was at the cabin, and had so much laughter and joy in his tone of voice, even though he is sick right now. I also talked to my mom, and she had that same laughter and joy in her voice, because she is spending a day with her sisters, nieces, and great-nieces. The laughter and joy is why I absolutely love this week, and miss sharing it with the people there.

In my house we would spend Friday night getting dad ready for the next day. The house was just full of excitement, as we cleaned his gun, got his long johns, thermal socks, orange vests and jackets set out. Saturday morning we would wake up at 4:30am, to finish packing dad up. Most people would hate that hour and leave the house groggy, but my family was so excited and energized. We would make dad coffee to put in his thermal, make him a ham sandwich, and of course pack chips and fun-sized candy bars left over from Halloween. Mom and I would send dad off with hugs and kisses, I would stand by the door to get one last wave from him as he drove off with his truck and four-wheeler in the back. Then mom and I were able to go back to bed for a couple hours, but we usually just cuddled in bed or in her rocking chair and talked. We would sit in her rocking chair by the tree and just talk about the ornaments, about memories, and she would share how much she loved me. I loved these moments with my mom, and wish we could both still fit in that rocking chair :).

During this week we would put up the Christmas tree, while blasting Christmas music. Dad being gone for the day meant we could listen to music as loud as we wanted. And our music of choice: Mariah Carey, Merry Christmas, along with Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, and others. I have so many memories of dancing in the kitchen with my mom to some of those great MC tunes. We would bake pies for dad's birthday and Thanksgiving, as well as about 15 different kinds of cookies for Santa Day in Sheldon. I loved this quality time in the kitchen with my mom, we were so goofy and had all the time in the world.

We would get so excited when dad would get home every night after hunting. I would wait for him by the door, to see if he got anything or not! This of course was before cell phones, before the cell phone tower was on the hunting land where we get better reception there than at home. Now, he calls to give updates on who got what, etc. But sometimes the guys would come to our house and skin the deer in our garage, and I was able to watch. Dad would just be so excited, it didn't matter if he got anything or not, just because he enjoyed being in the woods with the guys.

I always had the whole week off for school during hunting season. It was so relaxing, before all the busyness of Christmas. Mom and I would go shopping for a day in Eau Claire, just hanging out. We would bake a couple of the days, go on walks (with our orange coats, so we wouldn't be mistaken for a deer...), and also plan for my birthday party. I would also go hunting with my dad and the guys at least once or twice during that week. My favorite part was the "junk food" we were able to eat, and also fourwheeling with my cousin Ross. I usually liked making drives, just not through the brush! I loved being around my dad, uncles and cousins during this time. I loved them teasing me, because I knew they cared for me. What I didn't care so much for was "relieving" myself in the woods, trying to find a place, it was always such a pain, especially since no women were there with me! :)

We always had Thanksgiving day at my house. Every year I had to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, but it always got cut short because of football. Too bad there was no tivo at that time! My mom and I would be busy getting the food made, then my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandma & grandpa would come over. We would eat our big meal at 1, watch some football, most of the guys would take a nap, and just spend time together. My cousins and I would usually watch the movie that came on at night, Home Alone. I loved that movie!

Things are different now, with the cabin being built, the guys are able to stay there all week! Now, my mom and aunt bring them some food during the week, and they have it on the fire, or in the little stove. I hope to some day experience this season at home, with new traditions!

I really love this week, and am glad I do have a place to go for Thanksgiving, as the Dix's have graciously invited me to be a part of them! My thoughts and prayers are with my family in Wisconsin, wishing them a fun and safe Hunting Season!

And although I know, it's a long road back.....I promise you.....I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!

So...not the best picture of me, I was on steriods at this time! Oh, I love those chubby cheeks though! You can see I was just a little dramatic :)

what a day....

2008-11-21T16:52:00.000-08:00

You know it's going to be a rough day subbing when the teacher next door introduces herself saying, "Oh boy, you are HER sub. Her kids are a bunch of little shits. Just don't take crap from them and you should make it. Good luck, and if you need anything, I'm just next door".

Whew, and it was quite a day with the rambunctious 1st graders! There were many fights, many kids tattling, I couldn't get their attention for 3 whole seconds, but we all survived. I just don't think I'm made to work with a whole classroom under grade 3. All the pulling on my clothes, touching my hair and arms, asking a million questions all at the same time, not being able to focus on one single thing.... exhausts me! All I can say is TGIF (is it bad that I'm saying that, after only subbing twice this week?)

Here are some cute things they said:

Student: "Ms. Bauawhieoahman, how old are you?"
Me: "It's Ms. Baughman, or Ms. B, and I'm old."
Student: "Old? Like a hundred?"
Me: "Yes, a hundred".
Student: "Wow guys, she's a hundred!"

(This one was repeated about 3 times)
Student: "Ms. Bean, what do I do?"
Other students: "Her name is Ms. B, not Ms. Bean"
Student: "That's what I said, Ms. Bean"
Other students: "No, Ms. B"
Student: "Yeah, Ms. Bean"
Other students: "Ms. B, he's calling you Ms. Bean!!! He's doing it on purpose!"
-at the same time as-
Other students: "NO Geovanni, her name is Ms. B!"
Student: "Oh."

Student: "Miss Teacher, what is on your nose?"
Me: "It's a ring"
Student: "Why?"
Me: "It's jewelery"
Student: "But why?"
Me: "Because I like it"
Student: "But why?"
.....we were then interrupted by a kid with a bloody nose....

Me: "I would like you all to introduce yourself, say your name nice and clear and tell me something you are doing this weekend, or your favorite thing to do afterschool!"
Miranda: "I like playing with my friends"
Gerardo: "Soccer"
Stephen: "Nothing, I don't like anything"
Esther: "I like spreading happiness and love around the whole world"
really....a first grader?

My favorite thing about being a sub is I never have to return to that class again! But, in rosy retrospect they weren't THAT bad.....

how time flies when you are having fun!

2008-11-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

In one month from today I will be arriving at MSP for 2 1/2 weeks in the Midwest! I can't believe its already the holiday time. I am thrilled to be going home for Christmas, to see all my family and friends, and also getting a little bit of the snow and cold :)

See you in 1 month family & friends!

it's the most wonderful time of the year!

2008-11-17T19:06:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fast this season has come. It seems to be so much earlier this year. The 25 days of Christmas on ABC Family has already started. I LOVE the 25 days of Christmas movies, the cheesier the better! Tonight I watched Santa Baby and Christmas in Handcuffs....love the cheesy story lines and bad acting! I'm excited to see what other movies are in store until Christmas day...... :)

picking apples, chasing fires, and playing hymns

2008-11-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

Its been a crazy couple of days! Here is what I've been up to:

Saturday a bunch of ladies from the Inland She Community of Mosaic met up at 8am and went to Oak Glen apple orchard. It was an hour drive up into the mountains, such a different world from the Philips Ranch neighborhood! On our way, Lena, Sarah, Adrienne and I stopped at Riley Farms to take some photos. It was like we stepped back in time, the staff were dressed in colonial clothes, the buildings were historic, and they were selling the most amazing looking apple pie. After our little pit stop, we made our way to Oak Glen (it was only 5 miles up the road from Riley's). We shopped in the markets, sampled many different kinds of butters & jams, and of course apples and apple cider! The apple picking was closed, but we enjoyed seeing the shops, the fall colors, and a great lunch! I had chicken apple sausage and a taste of Sarah's apple pie. It felt like I was in the country, and it actually felt like fall, even though it was close to 90 degrees (it was the warmest day in November in 70 years!). We had a nice breeze though, and beautiful trees that provided shade. It was wonderful to spend quality time with the ladies, and enjoy a taste of fall. The first Friday of every month they have a Hometown Jamboree at Oak Glen, and I can't wait to convince my friends here to go! :)

Me, Lena & Adrienne

Feeding the Deer! It was so country....loved it!

Delicious barbacue lunch...and a bite of pie for dessert!

(Photos taken by Sarah & Adrienne, edited by Adrienne)

On our way down the mountain from Oak Glen, we noticed a lot of smoke, and guessed there was a fire. After that, Zack, Adrienne's husband called and told her highways were closed because of a few fires. As we neared Chino, we saw more and more smoke. It was then we realized how bad the fires were. Lena and I turned on the news when we got home, and saw how bad it was getting. The fires stretched from Corona to Brea, jumped the freeways, and spread across Orange and Los Angeles counties. It took Adrienne 4 hours to get to her home that was only 25 miles away! Lena was supposed to work the Mocha Club table at the Hanson/Matt Wertz concert, and tried to drive there, but turned around and came back home. I guess people were abandoning their vehicles because the smoke was so bad! I was home alone, and hearing on the television the fires were now in Chino Hills, which is just a few miles from my place. I was listening to the news, and they were saying to take pictures of every part of the house, write down all your belongings, pack up the most important, and drive. I wasn't in a panic state, but I wasn't happy to be home alone and unsure of what to do!

Then Lena came home, and I was so relieved! When she got home we decided to go firestorm chasing, to see how close the fire actually was. Stupid? Maybe. But it was good for us to see where the fire was. The moon was orange, and we saw a glow all around from the fires. It was a crazy experience. After we got back, we decided to pack up a couple bags, just incase they issued an evacuation for our area. As a kid I always wondered what I would quickly grab in case of a fire. The items of importance changed every time I thought about it, from my rollerskates, to my favorite doll, then as a teenager to pictures and clothes, to an adult my computer and camera. It was so strange looking at my belongings, wondering what I would want to pack in just a few bags. So, I did what any adult woman would do, made sure I was properly dressed (I did learn something from my dad's October Fire Awareness classes in school!) thought about what underware I was wearing, packed a bunch more, my favorite jewelery and scarves (from foreign countires), a few clothes (only my favorite and most comfortable), my passport, checkbooks, paperwork, camera, computer, contacts (I figured other toiletries are easier to replace than prescription lenses), a hat (if I had to evacuate, who knows when I'd get to shower!), makeup, and my journal into a backpack and small suitcase. The "just-in-case-of's" came out in me, and I could justify packing my whole room (but didn't, realizing its all just stuff).

It really felt like a dream. We kept saying we didn't think we'd have to leave, that we didn't think the fires would come to us, but there was a level of panic and uncertainty. We sat and watched the news until we both fell asleep by the TV, and I awoke to a phone call from my dad. I was so happy to hear his calming and reasoning voice. I knew it would all be okay after talking to him. He was a volunteer fireman for 25+ years, right? He calmed me down, and I was able to sleep all night after talking to him.

Sunday morning I woke up, realized I was still in my bedroom and not evacuated yet. I drove to pick up Sarah for our Life In Christ meetings, and as I drove, I saw smoke all around. We met, and had a wonderful conversation about connection and communion, then headed over to the church. Nathan Neighbour gave an excellent sermon on Focus, a chapter of Erwin's Wide Awake book. He talked about the importance of focus, because the more focus, the more impact it has. Focus helps us move our lives into the end picture we are trying to create. He asked 3 questions: Who must I become? (because its not about what you do, its about who you are with your character! Who you are at the core will determine the story of your life); What must I accomplish? (what is burning within you? What are you willing to risk anything and even fail for just to try?); and What must you give up? (sometimes you need to give up things that you are just good at, to make room for things you're great at). It was a great sermon, and really is making me think hard about my dreams and what I want to focus in on. I'll save that for another blog though.

After church, we went out to eat, went shopping, then went to Inland Christian Center, a nursing home, to hang out with the residents. We brought them cookies we had made on Thursday, nail polish, and I brought some piano music. I was rusty, as I haven't played in a few months, but it was still fun! I was definately out of my comfort zone, with piano I'm a big perfectionistic, and hate to make mistakes. It was the first time I took requests and played by sight like that. In the past, I've refused to do that, because its too much pressure. But I had a good time, and don't think they minded my wrong notes. It was great to hear them sing along, and request hymns. Pam said she saw the way their whole demeanor changed when the hymns were played, they sang along and looked alive. One woman, who was a piano teacher, even played some songs for me, and it was a treat :). We had a great afternoon there, and I hope to go back!

The fires are still "raging" around my place, and many freeways are still closed, but they do have a little more containment now than they did this morning. The smoke is really bad, I can feel it in my eyes and throat. Those darn Santa Ana winds, along with the heat.....Smokey Bear was wrong when he said "Only YOU can prevent forest fires", sometimes they are just out of anyones control. What I do know is God is in control, and even though many people are without their homes, have lost everything, there is still hope. It kills me to think of the many familys that are without now, so close to the holidays (although no time is right....its just tougher during Christmas). They are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will be looking for a way to help out (the red cross is taking financial donations, the only thing they are in need of now, you can help out at http://www.oc-redcross.org/page.aspx?id=1020).

That was my eventful weekend....hopefully the week will be more relaxed!

cherrylee & pesto pizza...

2008-11-15T16:19:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I subbed a 6th grade class at Cherrylee. It was my first time at this school, and I was a little nervous. At subbing orientation, I heard not so good things about this one, and its always a little different going into a new environment. I didn't know what the administration would be like, or the principle, or other teachers, the classroom, etc. So during my commute, I prayed a lot for the students I would be with that day, and just for the school. It was a great way to spend the 45 minutes in morning LA traffic :)

I found the school with no problem, and found my way to the office (you wouldn't believe how complicated some schools are, and hunting for the office isn't always easy! The secretary was extremely nice and helpful, and I met the principle right away, which is amazing, because most aren't around. She even said a nice and thoughtful welcome. I had a wonderful experience, and LOVED being with these 6th graders. It was such a nice relaxed day, even though there were 32 of them on a Friday. The schedule was great, and it provided me some time to talk to the students in smaller groups. We got everything on the lesson plan accomplished, and still I was able to really get to know the students. Even though there were a few behavioral problems (a boy "flinching" at another, 2 boys drawing swasticas on their notebooks, and one boy sneaking to the computers to change the screen saver to googled pictures of the devil....) there were no major crises, and we all had a wonderful day. One girl asked me if I was a social worker, because she said I looked easy to talk to, and wanted to talk to me about her foster home. Another opened up to me about some trouble with her family, her parents being divorced and disliking her mom's boyfriend because he is abusive to her mom. There was just a lot of pain and problems in this 6th grade class, and my heart just went out to each one of them. They said I was the best sub they ever had :), and a few told me I looked and acted like the girl on Enchanted....haha, right! Anyways, it was a great day of subbing, and I can't wait to be a school counselor, having time to talk to these students really affirmed my choice in career.

Last night was another adventure. Lena & I made pesto pizza! Some of our friends, Danny & Colleen are really into making pesto pizza, and we got homemade pesto from our friends Samar & Linda that moved a few weeks ago to NorCal. We bought some crust, and put pesto sauce, spinach, chicken, olives, red peppers, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, feta, and parmasean on it, and it was amazing! Some of my favorite ingredients in one dish....it was amazing! That, with some wine Lena got a few months ago from work, made a delicious Italian meal :). We ate, watched the Office and Leatherheads. It was a great way to end the week!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!!!

2008-11-13T11:16:00.000-08:00

I love this man so much! He turns 91 today. What an incredible man with an incredible life story. I feel extremely blessed to have him as a Grandfather. He has been such an encouragement to me, and an inspiration for my life. I've learned so many life lessons from him, about working hard, not giving up, on "using it or losing it", being adventurous, loving life, and about having a sincere and honest relationship with my Lord and Savior. His faith and trust in God has been amazing to watch, and I'm so lucky to have been a part of his life. He is such a servant, so humble, patient, and just a wonderful man. He once asked me why I haven't settled down yet and gotten married, and I told him I won't settle for a man thats not like him. He loved hearing that, and it's true. :) One of my favorite sounds is hearing him pray, and I can't wait to see him in 5 weeks! I was so blessed to be able to spend some quality time this summer with him and my Grandma, especially on our road trip to California. This week he and my Grandma, along with my aunt and uncle are taking another road trip, to Branson, Missouri. How amazing, cross-country twice in one year at the age of 91!

an update :)

2008-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

The woman that I met on the trail on Tuesday stopped me excitedly today, showing me her new nose ring! She said she got it done that day, after we talked :). I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she heard the whole conversation, it was like she was there with me. She was so excited, and we bonded over the cute new stud in her nose. It's amazing what connections can be made through piercings.

I love my nose ring, for many reasons. Here are a few:

1. Kids think I'm tough. Well, kinda. It works for El Monte Unified School District. And I think its saved my life a few times....the death threats from St. Joe's definitely subsided a bit after I got the piercing.

2. I love watching people, old and young alike, whisper and point at my ring. Its funny to see them unsure whether to comment, or to ignore it.

3. Kids that have never seen a nose ring are so funny. They are so honest in their questions. I'll never forget putting Henry down for a nap, closing my eyes so he might get the same idea, and feeling something touch my nose. I opened my eyes slowly, and saw his face close to mine, finger almost in my nose. He thought I was asleep, and decided to touch my nose ring, trying to figure out what it was!

4. I really love the conversation starter. People I would never have thought would approach me, do, and I love it. Kids that are "misunderstood and hate adults" are able to start talking to me about my nose ring, and it opens up to deeper conversations.

5. It makes me feel a little artistic. And urban. And cool. (Even though I'm not!)

So, with that said, although I won't have it forever, it was one of the best decisions I made :)

why I love a.m. walks....

2008-11-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

1. Watching the older, overweight gentleman jogging in a track suit, sweat band, and Ipod.

2. Meeting the Desperate-Housewives-like women on the trail, looking perfect in their coordinating workout clothes, gossiping about others. Today, one of the four women said snidely "He just can't handle the truth. It's his weakness. Maybe I should just divorce him." Then she looked at me and said "Good morning" ever so sweetly.

3. Getting stopped on the trail by a woman asking about my nose ring. Are there complications, did it hurt, how long have you had it, etc. I love the instant conversation starter on my face.

4. Hearing people converse in many different languages. Oh how I wish I was bilingual.

5. Watching the park workers mow the lawn in the middle of November.

6. Watching children play in the few leaves California has.

I love my morning walks, and am thankful for days off to go on them!

whew!

2008-11-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

I had a BUSY, but wonderful week! Here is a recap since I last posted:

Thursday:
I had no substitute work, so I was able to get a lot of cleaning and errands done! I spent a lot of time resting, dyed my hair by myself (first time without mom!), and then spent a great evening with the girls.

Friday:
Halloween! I subbed for middle school Social Studies & P.E., and saw the craziest costumes. Who knew Dorothy and Strawberry Shortcake could be SO scandalous on a 13 year old. It was very disturbing. What happened to the days where middle schoolers would dress in innocent costumes?

After returning from work, Lena and I had Golden Spoon for dinner (their pumpkin frozen yogurt is so delicious!), then headed to Hollywood to pick up Nicol and go to a concert on Sunset Blvd. at the Roxy. We saw Ingram Hill, and they were great in concert! After the concert, we battled traffic and the hundreds of people that were on Santa Monica Blvd for Halloween. They close off the street and have a huge block party, it was a crazy experience trying to drive through the swarms of people. We got back pretty late, and Colleen came over to spend the night, so we could go to the beach the next day! :)

Saturday:
Woke up from the sound of Sarah calling, to go running/rollerblading at the beach! We left my house at 5:15, drove to Laguna. When we got to Laguna, we realized there was no beach boardwalk, so we got back in the car and drove to Huntington. We had a great time with Colleen & Sarah running, and me on the blades. After working out, we sat on the beach and at the muffins I made, and watched a fishing context, and surfers. We were chatting about how blessed we were to have that experience, how God has blessed our friendships and how He has brought us together, and then BAM, we were hit by a wave! We had no time to react, and we were soaked! It ruined the muffins :(, gave us wet bottoms, but we laughed and had a good time with it! Bonding moments like that is what makes life fun :)

I got back from the beach, took a long nap, and just relaxed the rest of the day! I felt blessed to have some down time before a busy week!

Before the waves...

After the waves...

Sunday:
I've been meeting with Sarah before church to go through Life in Christ, the core values and conversations for becoming part of the Mosaic volunteer staff. I love this time together before church, I've been so blessed. I've also started greeting at Mosaic, and its been fun to meet many people. At church we've been going through Erwin McManus' new book, Wide Awake, and its a great sermon series. After church, I had a She Serves ladies lunchin, then left quickly to go to a Benefit Concert at Pepperdine University in Malibu.

Lena, Danny, Colleen & I went to the Benefit Concert. The Pepperdine campus is gorgeous, right on the beach. It was an all afternoon event, that was sponsored by Invisible Children, Lifebread, Nightlight, UNICEF, World Vision, and more. They had vendors from TOMS, Ethos water, and clothing from the fashion show. Some students from Pepperdine modeled the different lines of fair trade clothing, and Armani even had a line there! They also had a speaker on Human Trafficing, giving information about the sex trade and slavery here and abroad. It was interesting to hear more about trafficing, its an issue I am very passionate about. Its estimated as many as 1.2 million children are trafficked each year across the globe, yet it falls under the radar for many many Americans. They also had a refugee from Sudan speak about escaping and surviving the conflict in Southern Sudan. After the speakers, they had some student musicians, and Justin McRoberts and Matt Wertz performed. The concert was very good, it was so fun to see Matt Wertz finally! Listening to Sweetness in Starlight under the stars....Amazing! After the fashion show/concert, we went to Hollywood to get the famous Pink's hotdogs! Fun experience, even though I'm not a big fan of hotdogs!

Armani's Fair Trade Line

Danny & Colleen

Matt Wertz

Lena at Pinks

Monday:
I subbed 7th/8th P.E. You can call me Coach now. :)

Tuesday:
Disneyland Day! After subbing 2nd & 4th grade classes, Danny & Colleen picked me up, and we headed to Disneyland where we met Lena, Christie, Scot, Sarah, and Nathan! I was so excited for Disney Day, and it was a blast. We went to California Adventure first, then headed over to Disney. I turn into a different person at Disney.....there is so much joy at that place :). Its fun to act like a child, and get excited to go on the Peter Pan ride. Our last ride of the night was Space Mountain, my favorite. When we were walking to the exit, I realized I lost my cell phone, it was in my pocket, and was no longer there! Sarah & Scot helped me out so much, we ran to the desserted ride, asked around, went to the Disney City Hall, the Lost & Found, filed a report, and left. I was so upset, and thought my phone was lost forever, since it most likely fell out of my pocket on the ride. I thought for sure it had shattered, and was upset I was so careless. I decided to call the phone, and Disney personel answered! SO AMAZING! I arranged to pick it up the next day. I have to say, way to go Disney Lost & Found :).

Wednesday:
I subbed a 4th grade class half day, and a 2nd grade class, picked up my phone, then had a night of coffee and conversation with the Mosaic She ladies. I'm so blessed by this community.

Thursday:
Subbed for 5th graders, made carrot/raisin/chocolate chip cupcakes, then headed over to Kat's to make Stamp It Up cards! It was so much fun making the cards with Priscilla, Sarah, Lena & Kat. We made 10 Holiday cards, and I loved every minute of it with these ladies.

Friday:
Subbed Jr. High ELD classes, then Kindgergarten. What a random day, the change between 13-14 year olds & 5 year olds was tough! After subbing I had the most wonderful Spa experience at Aveda. A couple months ago I recieved a 50% off card from Aveda, and decided to use it on Friday for a haircut. My new stylist, Monica, spent 2 hours with me! Gave me a head & neck massage, an arm & hand massage, a great cut, and great conversation! I was so relaxed when finished, went home, watched a movie, and was in bed by 9:30. It was the life :)

Saturday:
I had subbing training from 8-1, and it was such a wonderful training! Usually those aren't very good, but this one was so helpful and applicable. I was able to talk to other subs in the district, share ideas and frustrations. They even gave us a couple nice resource books. After training, I went home and Sarah & Scot picked me up for the Mosaic LA Film Fest at the Silent Theater in Hollywood. It was such a fun experience seeing short films, they each brought out such different emotions. I was amazed at the talent of people. Cress Williams from Greys, E.R. & Prison Break was there as a judge, along with other producers/writers/directors. After the film fest, we found a little Mediterranean restaurant and enjoyed some apetizers!

Scot & Sarah Burbank

Today:
Church & rest!

This week was very busy, but I loved every minute of it! I have to say once again how blessed I am by my roommates, the Mosaic community, and my employment as a substitute teacher. God is good :)

ends & beginnings....

2008-10-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy finishing things. The bottom of the box of cereal is my absolute favorite part, love those crumbs. But I also get super excited to open a new box, and start anew. Dorky, yes, but I really really enjoy the simple things in life.

That's why I'm super excited that I just finished my first two classes. The end was glorious, and now I'm excited for my next classes that start in two weeks. Goodbye to Basic School Counseling & Child and Adolescent Development.....and hello to Issues in School Counseling & Community/Family/School Collaboration!

(In other exciting news....my friend Sarah informed me of a cereal special at Ralphs...and I bought 5 boxes of family sized Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Almonds for $1.88 per box!.....that means 5 wonderful times of starting and finishing boxes :)

livin' the dream...again!

2008-10-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today I did something I've always dreamed of. I woke up at 4:45am, my friend Sarah picked me up at 5:00am, and we headed to Newport Beach to run/rollerblade on the beach! Ever since I was a little girl, playing with my favorite red headed California beach skater barbie, I've wanted to rollerskate on the beach. Yes, this was before rollerblades came out. I loved that barbie, and always wished I could do the things I "made" her do, as I had her skate along with me in my basement to Mariah Carey. My experience today wasn't exactly like my redheaded barbie....no killer bod with the bikini, and no surfer Ken. But... it was still a phenominal experience, and I did look pretty cute with my pink sweatpants and ponytail :)

We rollerbladed (me)/ran (Sarah) for 3 hours, seeing some pretty amazing things. We of course got to the beach when it was still very dark, and found great free parking. We then found our way to the boardwalk, and immediately heard the waves crashing. The high tide was wonderful to watch, the waves were huge and so loud it sounded like thunder. The stars were beautiful, and the moon was our only light as we started out. As we went on our first pier, the sun was starting to come out, and we were able to watch the beautiful sun rise. We went past many fishermen, surfers, and kayakers. It was such a gorgeous morning. We then got to the Balboa area, and took the ferry to the Balboa Island. We went around the island, and found a stand that sold Balboa bars, and enjoyed the great ice cream treat at 8am :). We talked to many people, saw a garage sale, people walking their dogs, and old men sitting around and talking. We found our way back to the car, and were home by 9:30am! It was so much fun to be on rollerblades again, I had missed it. And, I rollerbladed for 3 hours, and only fell once. Pretty good for being rusty!

I had a great week of Subbing. Monday and Tuesday I was with Jr. High LD classes, Wednesday I was with 5 different classrooms as a rotating sub, Thursday I was with the most fantastic sixth graders, and Friday I was with Jr. High Home Ec & Science. Who knew I would ever teach these classes? Home Ec took me back to the good ol' days at Flambeau's Home Ec room, with Mrs. Dicus, the sewing machines, kitchens. Even the smell of the room was the same as that at Flambeau's. It really did make me reminise about my experience in Jr. High & High School as I watched the same "Sew Cool" video three times (the video was ironically made in Wisconsin, a low-budget Home Ec video about sewing, complete with Packer material!). I've had a lot of cool "Is this really my life right now" experiences. Who would have ever thought I'd have the opportunity to teach P.E., Home Ec, Pre-algebra, and more. I just have to say how funny it is with the whole P.E. teaching....it was my absolute worst classes during my whole childhood/adolescence. I didn't understand the games then, and I still don't understand them. But in my defense, California dodgeball is completely different from Wisconsin dodgeball. Last Friday I was with a Jr. High P.E. class, it was so hot outside and we played soccer. In the first 2 classes, there were many many complaints, and I understood because I WAS that kid. So in the last 2 classes I taught, I told them if they were too cool for dodgeball, they could play duck duck goose on the other side of the field. It was PERFECT, because the kids that were really into soccer were able to play without the kids standing/sitting on the field complaining, and the kids that would normally just stand/sit on the field were at least moving a little with duck duck goose. So it was a win-win-win situation for all :) I've also had so many great conversations with the kids, about icebergs, politics, and counting to ten in different languages. So, my life and job is pretty fun right now.

Thursday night Lena, Priscilla, Sarah and Kristen met for our Ladies night. And then last night Sarah, Scot, Priscilla and I met for our Wide Awake book club, and celebration of Priscilla's birthday! I just need to say once again how blessed I am with community here. I've met such genuine, sincere, and loving people.

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Priscilla, Kristen, Sarah & Lena

Sarah, Scot, and Priscilla with the yummy birthday brownies!

Priscilla, me & Sarah!

oh goodness....

2008-10-21T13:08:00.000-07:00

things i hear as a substitute:

"Ms. B, did your nose ring hurt?"
"Ms. B, you are so pretty, you should be on Next Top Model"
"Ms. B, I like your eyes"
"Ms. B, are you going to teach here forever?"
"Ms. B, why do you say 'about' like that?"
"Ms. B, do you like USC or UCLA?"

and what i was asked today.....

"Ms. B, are you a virgin?" (asked by Archangel....yes, that is his name)
"Ms. B, is it true that if you have sex, your acne goes away?" (asked by Felipe, a preteen with acne)
"You have a NOSE RING? You're the first teacher I've ever seen with that! There is a God!" (said Friday by an 8th grade girl)

i love my job.

recently....

2008-10-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

things i am a fan of:

white peaches
my view of the mountains on a clear day
mail. e, voice, or letter :)
mixed cd gifts from friends
frozen yoguart
psych, the oc, and dancing with the stars
intentionality
pandora radio stations: dave barnes, rosie thomas, & jaymay
disneyland
new blog backgrounds

things i am not a fan of:

traffic jams (it takes me 1 whole hour to drive 18 miles in the am)
the broken homes my students come from, and only having 1 day with them
shorter days
ants

i like that my likes list is longer than my dislikes list.

livin' the dream!

2008-10-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

So the most AMAZING and MAGICAL thing happened tonight. At 8:16pm my year changed. At Disney, if you have a day pass, when you are leaving you can upgrade for a season pass for extra charge. SO....if you are lucky to find someone with a day pass leaving the park, you can take their ticket, and upgrade to a full season pass. Tonight, Colleen and Danny found someone for me that gave their ticket to them, so I was able to get a full season pass for $65. Colleen called, I was already in my "lounge" clothes and mode, but Erin & I got in the car and ventured to Disneyland at 8:30pm! When we got there we found 2 more people leaving that gave us their tickets, so Erin, Lena and I were all able to get season passes to Disney. A whole YEAR of fun! We met up with Colleen and Danny and went on Indiana Jones and Space Mountain, had some pineapple frozen yoguart, and jumped around and acted silly. We were ridiculously excited for these tickets. This means that any night we can spontaneously go to Disneyland! Here are some pictures of our late night adventure:

First picture after we got our Disney picture IDs!

You can see my wonderful outfit here....who wears sweatpants and yellow flip flops to Disney?

"Family photo"

Woohoo for Minnie & Mickey!

New "family photo" when Lena joined us!

soul cravings

2008-10-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

I finally finished Erwin McManus's book Soul Cravings, just in time for starting his new one, Wide Awake, for the sermon series and book club. I love that I'm part of the Mosaic community, its such an exciting time here.

In Soul Cravings, Erwin explores exactly what the title says, what the soul craves. He says "Your soul craves truth, beauty, wonder, love. Your soul craves to dream, to imagine, and even simply to understand. Your soul craves to connect, to commune, to create. When you cannot see the possibility of these things, when you give up on them, when you are no longer changed by the pursuit of what seem to be ideals outside your reach, you starve your soul and you lose yourself. God has placed cravings within your soul that will drive you insane or drive you to him". Through this book, I've been able to get more of a glimpse of how God made us, for intimacy, for meaning. Our souls long to know the love God created us in, and created us for. Our souls long to be in community with others, to share our lives.

One thing that really struck me from this book is how if we are not connected to our source, being God, we will truly die. We cannot live without Him, and if we live a life in connection to Him, our souls will be fully alive. Until we know we were created with a purpose and for a purpose, wewill never be satisfied with the life we have. God is with us on this journey, He wants to take us where we cannot go alone, to become what we cannot be alone.

Another thing Erwin speaks about is the importance of hope in our lives. When we don't have hope, we feel powerless to change anything, but when we have hope, we are able to see the beauty and potential of every circumstance. He says, "hope empowers us to pursue our dreams, dreams are the art form of hope, they paint a picture of the life we desire". He also says, "God never intended for us to live hopeless lives. When we treat the future as something that happens to us, we become passive, apathetic, and even paralyzed. When we embrace our unique place in creation, when we believe that God has created us to create, it begins to change everything for us. It not only empowers us to live, but it holds us responsible for life. Not only our lives, but the lives of everyone we could affect for good."

Our sermon today was the introduction for Wide Awake. The pastor talked about our dreams, and how it affects not only ourselves. If we choose not to live with hope, live our God-given dreams, we not only affect ourselves, but everyone around us. Every one of us has been called to something unique, and if we move away from that dream or call, the people around us suffer. We talked about Jonah, how he ran away from the plan God had for him, and he didn't just affect him, but those on the boat he was on. Jonah was sleep walking through life, and God didn't punish him, but woke him up and pulled him back to the life and dream God had for him.

It was a wonderful and busy week. I started subbing on Wednesday, had Thursday off, and subbed again on Friday. Wednesday I had a second grade class, they had so much energy! Friday I had a sixth grade class, I really enjoyed being with those kids. Friday night we had our Wide Awake book club. It was great to have that community. Saturday was a chill day, then Erin, Lena and I went to the Hotel Cafe Tour to see Meiko, Jaymay, Erin McCarley, Priscilla Ahn, Laura Jansen, and Holly Conlan. It was 3 hours of amazing music, they were all such talented artists.

I'm looking forward to this week, looking forward to recognizing my unique dreams and soul cravings :) Its an exciting place to be in!

just call me ms. b

2008-10-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

Its official, I'm a substitute teacher! I got my ID picture badge today, and have my first "assignment" with a second grade class tomorrow! The adventure begins....

being a tourist!

2008-10-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Colleen, Danny & I were able to be tourists in our new city! We went to the Hollywood sign, to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (with Gerard Butler, Comic Natasha Leggero and
Katy Perry), to Hollywood Blvd, to Beverly Hills, Bel Air (Got to see the Fresh Prince house!), and to the UCLA campus to eat. It was a great adventure! Here are some pictures:

and the vote goes to.....

2008-09-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight I exercised my right and privilege to vote as an American citizen in the good ol' U.S of A. Although it wasn't the presidential election, it was almost as important. It was my first time voting in a reality show, and since I'm such a big fan of Dancing with the Stars, I know I needed to show my commitment by voting for my favorites. It was a great experience, and I think I will become a dedicated voter to the show now. Oh, and they just came out with a Dancing with the Stars: Cardio Latin Dance workout tape. Mom, I would like this for Christmas.

In other news, I had an incredible day at the beach with my new friend Colleen. Although we had some trouble finding our way (it took us 2 hours for 35 miles....Mapquest is not good, I really need a GPS), we had a blast asking people for directions while rolling down our windows at stoplights. Californian's are extremely friendly when asking for directions, and everyone we motioned to rolled down their window to talk to us. It was also one of they ten days in the year it rains in SoCal, the one day we picked to go to the beach. We got just a little wet, but it was fun to see Cali has more weather than just sun. We went to Corona del Mar in Newport Beach, and explored tide pools, climbed rocks, watched cliff divers, and enjoyed the sand. I was so happy I wore my Chacos, they were perfect for exploring. Then we went to Balboa Island, ate at a great place (I had an amazing Avocado Burger!), walked around the whole island looking at the huge & unique houses, then enjoyed a World's Best Frozen Banana. I always get excited when I see something that says "World's Best", because I think of the movie Elf, and just want to yell at them "CONGRATULATIONS!" Anyway, it was delicious, and a fun place to explore. Because we didn't want to hit bad traffic, we decided to also go to Laguna Beach, and it was beautiful. It was a great day, so good to share with a new friend!

Corona del Mar beach in Newport Beach, you can see the rain!

Colleen exploring

World's Best?

Yeah, we think so!

Laguna Beach

living without fear

2008-09-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

So many times I let my fear get the best of me. Today, I decided to not let this happen. Lena & I have been going to church together, and this weekend Lena was out of town. So that meant I could choose to go to church alone, or go with Erin. I wanted to hear the message at Mosaic, so I decided to venture out alone. I don't know why, but I've always hated going to church alone. I'm a pretty independent person, and have no problems going anywhere else by myself, but church has always scared me, especially when going to a fairly new church. Maybe because of past experiences in going alone, people thinking I'm a seeker and trying to convert me, insincere people, going to some crazy churches, and just having strange conversations. I'm a lot more confident in myself now, but still prayed all the way to church that I would be open and that I would not just walk in and find a seat. God definitely blessed me.

As I walked into church, Sarah from a small group I've been going to, almost tackled me with a huge hug, saying how much she missed me on Friday night, and how she's so thankful for me. It was such a blessing to get a warm welcome. As I was talking to Sarah in the entry, another girl, Colleen, came to talk to us. She just moved from Chicago the same time I moved here, and we became almost instant friends. So I didn't have to sit alone, but in the company of two amazing women. After church, I stayed a long time talking and meeting people, then went out to lunch with a group. It was so great to be in community, each person I have met has been such a "God-thing".

The service was on Fear today, and really hit home for me. The speaker talked about Peter, as he was walking on the water. He had the courage to step out into the unknown, then noticed the "wind", and let his fears get to him. The wind was his "what-if's", and they come when we are most stretched. Jesus knew that if Peter never stepped out into the deepest of fears, he would never know the dynamic life that could be imagined for him. When you live in all the "what-if's", you will drown in the ocean of all fears, never grabbing on to your potential future. Another thing the speaker said was that our fears dance with our insecurities. But we can chose to live in perfect love with Christ, and as it says in 1 John 4: 16-18, perfect love drives out all fear. With the perfect love that God provides, and Godly fear, that's when we can truly live the life God has for us. This sermon was good for me to hear, because of my fears that are eating at my insecurities. The fear of not finding a job fast enough, or fear of what I will do, they work on my insecurities of "what if I'm not good enough, talented enough, strong enough, etc.". They are irrational thoughts.

Through my counseling methods class at APU, I've been finding out the theory I like best, and using it on myself. Its the Rational Emotive Behavioral Theory (REBT) by Albert Ellis. This basically says that we control our ideas, attitudes, feelings, and actions, have little control over what happens or what exists, but we do have choices and control over how we view and react to difficulties. So we are responsible for our feelings about ourselves, others, and the environment. If I interpret an event with irrationality, I will internalize the feelings, and it will result in anxiety, guilt, and depression. The way we react to situations is based on our belief about the situation, not the situation itself. So if someone cut in front of me in line, and I got instantly mad, I would have to look at my belief system about the situation. In looking at my belief system, I could then realize the reason I got mad was because I feel like its disrespectful to me. Anyway, in the case with me having no job, and feeling upset, I realize its all about feeling like I'm not good enough. So, I've gotten to use my counseling skills on myself to realize its an irrational thought, and an irrational insecurity, and I need to change my negative belief system about the events in my life. :)

I've been learning a lot, challenging myself, and growing through this, and am thankful to God for the people and situations he's brought into my life. I am challenging myself to not live in irrational fear, but fear in my Heavenly Father in perfect love, and to grab on to the life He has for me. I can only be excited for what the future will bring!

could it get any better than chinese take-out & santa monica pier?

2008-09-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day. It was relaxing, as I did some homework, watched 3 episodes of Psych (love Shawn & Gus), read Soul Cravings, talked to family on the phone, mailed some people... it was just a wonderful & relaxing day. Erin & I took Lena to the airport, gave her a wonderful goodbye for the weekend (yes, we made a show by hugging then yelling out the window...), and decided to have an adventure.

We picked up Chinese take-out and headed to Santa Monica Pier. We found amazing parking, walked to the beach, and found a bench on the pier. Prime people watching, fantastic food, the smell of the sea and sound of the waves made a perfect night! On the pier we were able to watch fishermen catch lobster & sting rays and watch people try the trapeze, then we headed over to the promenade, to watch street musicians. It was a fun & random night!

Santa Monica Pier

New York Trapeze School

Santa Monica Pier

Erin doesn't like sea food....but I do!

Eating our take-out on the pier!

feeling fall....

2008-09-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

It's been feeling a little more like fall here, with temperatures only in the 80's and its getting cooler at nights. We've been feeling it a little more here at Brownfield Lane, with Erin's subscriptions to Better Homes & Gardens, and their yummy fall recipes. Last weekend we made a Cranberry Chocolate Walnut pie....this weekend it was my chili and apple dumplings. Can't wait for the other recipes I found, pumpkin soup and pumpkin pancakes.... :)

Yesterday was a fun and eventful day. Lena & I went to Mosaic Inland, then I did some sightseeing with Erin and her friends that came from northern CA. We went to lunch on Olvera street, saw the Hollywood sign close up, drove down Rodeo Drive and Hollywood Blvd. It was fun feeling like a tourist in the city I now live in. After all this, Lena and I went to the Mosaic service at the Mayan (nightclub) in downtown LA. It was a lot of fun, and reminded me of Club 3 Degrees.

Mosaic is now doing a series on Falling Forward. In the morning the service was about failure, especially failure in relationships. The pastor gave the example of Jesus, when Judas betrays him, he never tried to fix Judas. Even though Jesus knew it was Judas betraying him, he didn't sit Judas down and talk to him about it, or try to reason or help him. So many times in our relationships, we feel like we have to "fix" everyone and every situation, but really, we have no control over another person. In our relationships, we only have control over what we do and how we act, and if its pleasing to God or not. Jesus invested everything he had into his disciples, and on his last our of need, when he asked them to pray so they would not fall into temptation, they fell asleep. And when Jesus was arrested, his disciples ran away, and disowned him. So many times we get disappointed in relationships, people fail us, we fail others, and we fail God by our sin and disowning Him. Even with our failure, God is there with us, loving us.

The evening service was on fatigue, and it was really good. I learned that fatigue isn't about not having enough sleep or being too busy. Fatigue is from disappointment and discouragement. Fatigue comes when you start to get discouraged and don't lean on God and on community. So many times I've felt just exhausted, at the times in my life when I'm disappointed in myself and discouraged. I'm praying in my pursuit for a job, I don't become fatigued, but completely lean on God and cast all my cares and worries on Him. So...I had three great sermons this weekend (my minister from home e-mailed me his), and they were all things I needed to hear. I'm learning and growing....and trying to fall forward to God :)

Here are some pictures from yesterday!

Erin's new guy :)

My first Churro experience! Mmmmm...Olvera Street is good!

Up close & personal to the Hollywood sign!

Some pictures from the roadtrip to California....

2008-09-20T12:56:00.001-07:00

blessed...

2008-09-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

I got a card from my mom this week, and it came at a perfect time, when I was missing the Midwest a little. Not that I don't love it here in Cali, its just lacking some of my favorite people :)

Its so great to have a mom that knows me so well, and knows what I need to hear. Here's what the card said:

Always remember, when God made you He did so with a purpose and a plan. He saw all your days before you lived one of them and placed over you the covering of His protective love. He has allowed nothing to come into your life that has not first been screened through that love. His hand has remained upon you to this very day. He calls you by name. You are His beloved child....the apple of His eye....the delight of His heart. Today you are in the exact place He wants you to be, and tomorrow He will be with you as He has always been - in goodness, in kindness, in faithfulness.

I have been so blessed being here in California, with incredible roommates and their friends (some of who I haven't even met!). They are uplifting and I can feel God's hand in my being here. I have been blessed to have met people from Mosaic. Just being here three weeks, I'm amazed at how God has worked. I know I am God's beloved child, the apple of His eye, and the delight of His heart, and he knows me, searches me, and chisels away the areas in my life that are not pleasing to Him. I just feel blessed, even in my uncertainties and missing the people I love most. God is faithful and is with me. And His love pours over me.

Anyway, here are some things I miss from the Midwest:

My backyard in Wisconsin....the river, the trees, the birds, the clean air...

Friends.....

Family....

My kids...Haily, Emma, Henry & Sarah

I even miss this little guy Henry so much, I've been shopping here:Silly, I know, but it makes me think of him!

Even though I miss these things, I know I'm supposed to be where I am, and they will be waiting for me at Christmas! I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!

I heart fairs...and 5th graders

2008-09-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today I was a chaperon for Ms. McGee's 5th grade trip to the L.A. County Fair. What an EXCITING day! We saw the animals....played in "snow" (what a joke for a midwest girl!)....got free stuff...ate a good lunch.....looked at souvenirs, and so much more!

I really just love 5th graders, its such a great age. I remember when I was in 5th grade, and I loved my teacher Mrs. Gasior. It was in 5th grade my mom had cancer, and it was such a transitional year for me. The kids I have always volunteered with have been in 5th grade...and I just love it.

Anyways, here are some things I've heard...

"Ms. Sheena, congratulations on pursuing your Masters"

"Ms. Sheena, are you and Ms. McGee sisters? You totally look alike"

"I saw things here [at the fair] that nobody should see" - in reference to watching a cow give birth

and....one girl was singing "Can't touch this"....haha!

It was a great day, and I felt blessed to hang out with these awesome pre-teens :)

55 things about me....

2008-09-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

I liked Jaci & Mariko's "Facts" so much...I decided to add my own random things about myself. And yes, it is to procrastinate from homework :)

1. I love movies in parks. It was one of my favorite Twin Cities summer time things.

2. I love everything about photography. Digital, film, darkrooms, printing, framing. I'd pursue this as a career if I wasn't afraid of failure.

3. Fall really excites me. I love Thanksgiving, and the smells and food that go along with it. Hunting season was one of my favorite times as a child.

4. Kristi Yamaguchi was one of my heros as a child. I used to pretend I was her in my basement with my roller skates, making up routines to Mariah Carey.

5. Celine Dion's These Are the Special Times is still my favorite Christmas CD. Second is Mariah Carey Merry Christmas.

6. I've been in 23 countries. And I'm currently 23. I want to keep this up.

7. I love the colors red, yellow and green. Especially when they are together.

8. I believe raspberries, chocolate chips, coconut, and ice cream were made for eachother.

9. I really love earrings, scarfs, and all accessories in general. I love finding one-of-a-kind pieces.

10. I absolutly hate ants. They always ruin perfect picnics.

11. I have many shoes, although I'd always prefer going barefoot.

12. Elf and Dwight on the Office always make me laugh. I love my Dwight bobblehead.

13. I love anything vintage. Old things are treasures to me.

14. I love the style of the 30's-50's. Sometimes I think I was meant to be in that era.

15. I love to cook and bake. And I rarely follow the recipe, I'd rather add my own spice.

16. The first occupation I wanted to have is a missionary. I told this to my mom when I was 3, because I liked the missionary's outfits when they came to church. I'd still like to be a missionary.

17. One of my dreams is to skydive over the Swiss Alps. But skydiving over Colorado would do.

18. Homemade salsa and guacamole are to die for.

19. I love the feeling in my stomach when I ride on rollercoasters.

20. Someday I want to get all dressed up and go to a ball, and dance.

21. I'm accident prone. Surprisingly I've never broken a bone.

22. I'm passionate about justice. And love. And peace. And Jesus. And believe they all go hand in hand.

23. Dove dark chocolate is my favorite. Great taste, and the messages are fun. I love quotes.

24. I know self-defense. It was one of my favorite classes.

25. I like doing the dishes while listening to Madeline Peryoux.

26. I always wanted a brother or sister, but have been blessed to have many cousins and friends that fill that want.

27. I have all 4 grandparents, and am incredibly blessed to know them and be close to them.

28. My favorite part of summer was always Christian Harbor Youth Camp.

29. Giving back the rented moped in Greece was hard to do.

30. I fell in love in Amsterdam and with Amsterdam.

31. Children's books make me happy.

32. I've seen the incredible power and majesty of God and tremble at the thought.

33. My favorite sound is the sound of children laughing.

34. I have to take a shower and wash my hair every morning otherwise I feel gross all day long.

35. Pandora.com is great.

36. I'm from a town of 256, and I love it. It's home.

37. I'm not a picky eater, usually anything makes me happy.

38. Being at an airport is so exciting to me, its the best people watching ever.

39. I want to make a difference in the lives of youth.

40. My Rand McNally map was a prized posession of mine in 2nd grade.

41. Kids convinced me I was adopted as a child. I believed them for awhile.

42. I always start journals and don't finish them. I'd like to get better at this.

43. I get excited about my future.

44. I wish I could dance better. I love dancing movies and TV shows.

45. I like to take tests. Filling in blank spots with answers I know excites me. So do good impromtu essays.

46. I love learning new cities and cultures.

47. Watching people hurt hurts me so badly. It makes me wonder how God feels.

48. I love the feeling of fourwheeling.

49. I am seriously addicted to coffee. Although, now I only need 1 cup instead of 3 per morning. There is nothing like the smell of coffee beans and a fresh pot.

50. I love making cards and sending them to people.

51. I can type an average of 88 words per minute. My last clerical test was last year, and I got a high of 102 words per minute. I used to be obsessed with typing, and as I would talk, sometimes I would move my fingers like I was typing out the words. Court reporting would be a good profession for me.

52. I still use my fingers to count sometimes. I didnt' get the smart-math-enginerring genes like the rest of my family.

53. I like my freckles.

54. I absolutly love hanging out with my parents. I've always been happy they are mine.

55. Above all, I know I'm a child of God, and want my life to be honoring to Him.

California dreaming....

2008-09-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to go to the beach to do some "studying". It was awesome. I woke up, put on shorts and a hat, made my coffee and packed a lunch and headed out. With Jack Johnson blaring on my radio, I ventured to Huntington Beach.

I am just in amazement to be living SO close to the ocean. Only 35 miles and I'm there with the crashing waves, sea gulls, and terrific people watching (I just love watching people surf....maybe one day I'll give it a try!). My feet were so happy in the sand, getting a natural pedicure, and my skin was happy getting sun kissed (although now I do have nice raccoon eyes because of my sunglasses...). It was so nice just sitting and watching people, journaling, reading, and taking a nice walk on the beach. I could get used to having no job.... :)

Watching people ride their vintage single speed cruiser bikes made me so jealous, I've wanted one for years. The one I want looks like this, except I want a basket in front. I can see myself riding it, on the boardwalks, with a sundress, lunch in my basket.....mmm...California dreaming.

"foot-watching"

2008-09-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a "cool" day in the Inland Empire, with a high of just 82 degrees (it was also cloudy for a few hours today, and then.....sun.....again!). I decided to take advantage of this cool weather, get away from my computer screen, and burn some endorphins by taking a nice walk.

While I was walking in this nice park-like area, I saw a huge pile of dog poo. And though right away, "thank goodness I was looking down!". Well, this made me think, and I've come to the conclusion that I am a foot-watcher. Instead of looking around and at the sky and trees and the beauty around me, I often just watch my feet. In the back of my mind, I'm hearing "watch where you're going Sheena, careful of your steps, watch out", and I've always just watched my feet. This has probably prevented me from quite a few accidents, since I can never walk quite straight, and I am a naturally clumsy person (i.e. Mexican fast food on gray/white skirt story).

I don't know when this foot-watching started. As a child, I never wore shoes, had cuts all over, and never thought twice about running on rocks barefoot. I remember some trouble I got myself into as a 9 year old, while taking a walk with my mom I got stuck in the mud, because I wasn't watching where I was going. I got stuck, and my mom left me to get myself out of the mess I got into. I finally did get myself out, after figuring out that frantically moving my legs and feet got me deeper in the mud, and I had to be more calm.

Anyways, this foot-watching syndrome applies to more of my life than just my walking habits. I try to be adventurous and step out, but in the back of my mind is still "watch where you're going Sheena, don't fail, don't walk in any poo". Do I really get a lot out of experiences if I'm continually watching just my feet? I am too cautious, and don't really live with all that I have to give. My fear prevents me from being used like I should.

I am determined now, with this new adventure in my life, to not be a foot-watcher any longer. I want to get all I can out of this new experience, to get all that I can out of what God is teaching me here. In the back of my head now are the voices of my former dance teachers, yelling at me to NOT watch my feet, that they are still there even if I'm not looking at them. Telling me to dance with my head held high, with a smile on my face, and light in my eyes. So I will walk (or dance), and soak it in, trusting that my feet will carry me. And who really cares about stepping in poo or stubbing a toe once in awhile if it means I can enjoy all there is to offer.

Psalm 121:2-3 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber.

the endless job search.....

2008-09-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

I hate searching for jobs. It drains me. Its such a long process, and I always forget that when I get upset with myself for not instantly having one. I mean, I've only been here a little over a week. I hate finding a job that sounds so perfect, and realizing I don't have the qualifications. Or finding a job that sounds nice, but the hours won't work with my class schedule. Or finding a job, but I just need to take this test, and get those papers, and letters of recommendation, etc. Its such a process looking up jobs on Craigslist or edjoin, changing my resume and cover letter, trying to convince places that I'm worthy of hiring. Its a full-time job just looking for a job. I always have the fear I won't find something fast enough, or that pays enough, or that's the right fit.

I've made myself do some reading and devotionals, that don't have anything to do with homework or the job search. Otherwise I would spend all day and night online doing the job search, or doing homework, and freaking out. In this time of "making myself" read, I've picked up Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. I read it once my freshman year of college in Personal Growth and Helping Others, but just kind of skimmed through. Now, picking it up again, I realize what an amazing book it is. I've only read a few pages, and already I'm blogging about it (who would have thought!). Something that hit me is this:

"One night a friend asked his handicapped son, 'Daniel, when you see Jesus looking at you, what do you see in His eyes?' After a pause, the boy replied, 'His eyes are filled with tears, Dad'. 'Why Dan?' An even longer pause. 'Because He is sad.' 'And why is He sad?' Daniel stared at the floor. When at last he looked up, his eyes glistened with tears. 'Because I am afraid'.

Manning says this "The sorrow of God lies in our fear of Him, our fear of life, and our fear of ourselves. He anguishes over our self-absorption and self-sufficiency. Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to Him. He grieves that we have forgotten him. He weeps over our obsession with muchness and manyness. He longs for our presence."

Wow. In my attempts to live my life, sometimes I forget that God desperately wants me to draw near to Him. Instead of keeping myself busy and worrying and being fearful, He WANTS me to lean on Him. Instead of being self-absorbed, He wants me to remember WHO is King of my life. When I was in South Africa, we prayed everyday, for hours, not because we just remembered to do it, not because it was the right thing to do, but because our LIVES depended on it. Why don't I live my life like that in the United States also? My LIFE is to serve the Lord, to live out the gospel, to love. Everything else compared to that is meaningless. In this time of uncertainty with a job, I need to rely on the Great Sustainer and Author.

So...what am I praying for in a job? I don't want to settle. I want to be used. I don't want it to be a waste. I want to serve, and feel like I make a difference. I want to be challenged and grow, but don't want to be too overwhelmed and busy. Too much to ask? With every experience I've had with jobs, I've been so blessed and have learned so much. God hasn't let me down yet, and I'm running to Him and being embraced by His presence.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, wiht thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcents all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:5-6

Weekend Recap...

2008-09-09T11:01:00.001-07:00

My first full weekend here in California was pretty eventful!

Friday night I was able to go out to eat with some people from Mosaic Inland and my roommates. It was a great night of fellowship and excellent pizza! I felt extremely blessed to have this community within my first week in California. And, my roommate Lena and I ended the night with an episode of Psych, my first time watching the show....so funny!

Saturday night my roommates and I went to In-n-Out Burger, it was a must-have experience. Overall, burger and malt shake was excellent....much better than McD's, but not as good as Culvers! We followed this by going to the House of Blues in Anaheim, for the Lucy Wainwright Rouche and Amos Lee concert. Concert = excellent. Guy standing next to us shouting every couple seconds "wooohoooo, bring it Amos" = not so excellent. This Amos fan told my roommate Erin no one can listen to Amos without a glass of whiskey. It made for an interesting night!

Sunday I went to Mosaic, and really enjoyed it. The congregation seemed very real and sincere, which is something very important to me when looking for a new church body. I couldn't have left there without being stopped for conversation, which is great. And I really like the vision of Mosaic. After church we went to eat with some people, some that I met on Friday, and some new faces. We went to Que Pasa, a Mexican fast-food place. Heres where a "this-would-happen-to-Sheena" moment happened. I got my tray of fresh fast-food Mexican, a tray full of Quesidillas, salsa, guac, black beans and rice, and decided I needed water. So I leaned my tray against the counter to get water. Well, the counter wasn't wide enough for the tray. The next second I had black beans and rice all over my shoes and feet, and a beautiful array of colors on my grey and white skirt. Great first impression! I tried to clean up, but the worker was so gracious and cleaned it up, and brought new food to me after I had gone to the bathroom to wipe the beans and rice off my feet, and wash my skirt as best as possible. I've had enough of these experiences to not be embarrassed too badly, and it will make for a good memory! And, with Shout Gel being one of my best friends, my skirt has no more stains.

Conversations were great though at this after-church-lunch. It was great to meet people, hear stories, and share mine. After lunch, my roommate Lena and I went to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, to conclude our eventful weekend. Yes, cheesy, but a wonderful feel-good movie (and plus, I've read all 4 books, so I had to watch the movie!)

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". 1Thessalonians 5:16-18

new city....new adventure....new blog!

2008-09-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've always hesitated to start a blog, basically because I don't like talking about myself, and there's always the fear that I'll start something and never finish, not know what to say, say the wrong thing, etc. But, I'm in a new city and new adventure now, and would like a way to keep my family and friends updated. So...here it goes!

I'll start this blog by sharing a little of how I came to L.A. My journey to California has been quick, although its been on my mind for over 3 years. While in Lithuania, I started looking up grad programs, and Azusa Pacific University just stuck with me. I couldn't find a program I liked as much as the one here, and couldn't get it out of my mind. So...I started the application in April 2007, and then put it off. Then started it again in February 2008, then put it off. Then I went to South Africa, and when I got back, I had no idea what to do or where to go next. "The Plan" was to start APU in Fall 2008, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. And not sure what God wanted of me. So after the summer spent in misery not knowing God's will, and only knowing that where I was at that time was where I was supposed to be, I finally felt a peace about going to APU.

I quickly finished my application, but part of that included getting my fingerprints for a Certificate of Clearance. I talked to the admissions counselor on a Wednesday, and found out I could only do this in the state of California, and had to get it done by Friday for the application to be in by the due date. So on a Wednesday afternoon, I searched for flights, found one for a Friday morning, but there wasn't enough seats for my parents (which I talked in to coming). My mom suggested leaving the next day, and there were just 3 seats left on that flight, so we purchased it quick, and left the next morning! That day, I found out the place to get the fingerprints done was closed on Fridays for the summer, so our arrival on Thursday was perfect. While in the airport security line, I saw my friend Sarah Sandberg's parents, they were going to visit her and her husband, Ryan, in L.A. So, I got to see them when they picked their parents up at the airport, because we were on the same flight! We had no problems with our luggage, rental car, and finding our way around. And we were able to spend a few days with Great Aunt May, who lives only 6 miles from APU. The whole trip was a "God thing", especially when I found a place to live. Before getting to L.A., I printed off a list from the APU website for people seeking roommates. I looked it over, and nothing just looked right. My parents and I were praying for affordable housing, and I finally looked at the website again. A new one had been posted, looking for a "fun Christian girl", and I thought, well, I think I fit that category! So I responded, and Erin and I e-mailed back and forth. I also responded to another one, to a girl named Sally. We went to Sally's place, and a 60ish year old woman answered the door. It was the strangest place, she creeped us all out, it was dark and dirty, stairs broke, smelled, and a 60-year old woman staring at us the whole time. We left there quick, and were releaved when we got to Erin's home, it fit me perfectly. Erin had been praying for someone, and so I had I, and I responded right after she posted. Thank God!

Many things needed to be set before coming to California. I found out by the admissions counselor that the week I got my fingerprints done for the application, Arnold laid off some people, including those who were processing my fingerprints. He said it wasn't likely they would get there in time, so I would probably have to start school in November. Well, on the last day, they got processed. But I still needed to be accepted to the program. On a Friday afternoon I found out I was accepted, quickly packed, played piano for my friends wedding on Saturday, and left for California on Sunday after church! What a whirlwind, getting everything packed and ready to go! But once we were on the road, with my parents and 90-year-old grandparents, we were ready for an adventerous road trip. We were able to stop in Fort Collins, Colorado to see my cousin Danine and her husband Walter, stop in Colorado Springs to see some other relatives, see the Royal Gorge, drive wolf-creek pass, see the Grand Canyon, and finall get to Pomona, California where we moved me in! It was an amazing adventure, and I felt blessed to be able to spend that quality time with my parents and grandparents!

Its been an adjustment being here, but I've felt held by God through it all, knowing that I'm supposed to be where I am. I do miss my family and friends back home, but I've been blessed to spend some time with people I haven't seen in a long time, including Sarah & Ryan Sandberg, Andrea Wallace, and Aunt May. And I have been so blessed to be living where I am, instant friends and community with my roommates Lena and Erin. And I've gone to a small-group and church already, and have found some community at Mosaic. And my classes have been interesting, and I've had some good conversations with my classmates and collegues. It sounds like the cliche thing to say, but God certainly is good.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God." Psalm 143:8-10