prom date?

I love being a substitute teacher. It's of course tough sometimes, because students like to act up with subs, but every day is different, and I hear the funniest things, I wish I could remember them all. It's been good to be back to work this month, and I'm sad school is ending soon. Here are some of the funny things that happen in my day:

Kindergarten:
- I had 35 students one day. And a fire drill. And one student wet their pants. Kindergarten is crazy.

- I had a girl walk up to me, look me up and down, and give me the thumbs up sign. She was the cutest chubbiest girl.

1st:
- Student: "Ms. B, are you from Mexico?"
Me: "No, I moved here from Wisconsin."
Student: "What language do they speak there?"
Me: "English."
Student: "English is your first language? You sound funny."

2nd:
- Student: "Have you always been that tall?"
Me: "Yes, even when I was in 2nd grade."
Student: "Really? No, I saw that wink, you are lying."

3rd:
- Student: "Ms. B, are we being bad?"
Me: "Well, we just need to make better choices"
Student: "GUYS, LETS MAKE BETTER CHOICES TODAY!"

4th:
- Student, after I stood up from chair..."Oh my God you are HUGE"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "Oh, huge like tall, not fat. Sorry, your just really tall, it surprised me"

5th:
- Student (after watching the 5th grade boys "movie") "Ms. B, you are so lucky you didn't have to watch that. I learned too much. My eyes are burning"

-"Ms. B, you can't stop the movie, we're just getting to the epic part!"

-"Ms. B, are you married yet? Because Alex is in love with you".

6th:
- "Ms. B, can you please please please come watch our dodgeball tournament at lunch? I want you to cheer for our class!"

7th:
-"Ms. B, you are like the coolest teacher alive. Can you work here like full time?"

-Student: "Ms. B, how do you pronounce your last name?"
Me: "Its pronounced Baufman. The gh makes the f sound, like in laugh or cough"
Student: "Oh, are you German?"

8th:
-"Ms. B, your eyes are so green. They are the color of money".

-Student: (a young man) "Ms. B, I like your watch. How much did it cost?"
Me: "I don't know, I got it at Target"
Student: "Why didn't you get a more expensive watch, aren't you a millionaire?"
Me: "Do I look like a millionaire?"
Student: "Well yes, Ms. B, I thought all millionaires were gorgeous like you".

11th:
- I was at a wealthier school district for high school, and I have never seen so many skinny girls and designer purses. I felt frumpy.

- I had a student showing his nipple ring with the new glow in the dark ball to students when I turned off the lights to watch a movie. I had to tell him to put that thing away.

- I also had a 5 minute conversation with a girl about nose rings. She came back at the end of the day to talk to me about other things too. She was the only normal looking girl I saw all day (i.e. wasn't size 000, wasn't powdering her nose and applying mascara every 5 minutes, and didn't have any designer wear). She was real and beautiful, I'm glad she came and talked to me.

12th:
-Student: "Is it Ms. or Mrs.?"
Me: "It's Ms."
Student: "YESS, you aren't married yet"

-"Ms. Baughman, will you go to the prom with me on Saturday? I'm 18, so it isn't illegal".

-"Um, I don't know if this is weird or not, but Chip B. told me to tell you he's in love with you"

-I also got passed a note that said "Ms. Baughman, do you like me? Yes No Maybe, circle one and pass back".