today it was....

"Ms. B, you look just like the girl in 17 Again". (Said by two girls wearing Zac Efron t-shirts)

"Ms. B, you sound just like my mom". No sweetie, I sound like my mom :)

And this....was said with the teacher in the room....
Student: "Ms. B, can you be our teacher forever?"
Teacher: "You want Ms. B to finish out the year with you?"
All Students: "YES!"

Ouch. I think the poor teacher was ready to let me have her class, she was tired!

prom date?

I love being a substitute teacher. It's of course tough sometimes, because students like to act up with subs, but every day is different, and I hear the funniest things, I wish I could remember them all. It's been good to be back to work this month, and I'm sad school is ending soon. Here are some of the funny things that happen in my day:

Kindergarten:
- I had 35 students one day. And a fire drill. And one student wet their pants. Kindergarten is crazy.

- I had a girl walk up to me, look me up and down, and give me the thumbs up sign. She was the cutest chubbiest girl.

1st:
- Student: "Ms. B, are you from Mexico?"
Me: "No, I moved here from Wisconsin."
Student: "What language do they speak there?"
Me: "English."
Student: "English is your first language? You sound funny."

2nd:
- Student: "Have you always been that tall?"
Me: "Yes, even when I was in 2nd grade."
Student: "Really? No, I saw that wink, you are lying."

3rd:
- Student: "Ms. B, are we being bad?"
Me: "Well, we just need to make better choices"
Student: "GUYS, LETS MAKE BETTER CHOICES TODAY!"

4th:
- Student, after I stood up from chair..."Oh my God you are HUGE"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Student: "Oh, huge like tall, not fat. Sorry, your just really tall, it surprised me"

5th:
- Student (after watching the 5th grade boys "movie") "Ms. B, you are so lucky you didn't have to watch that. I learned too much. My eyes are burning"

-"Ms. B, you can't stop the movie, we're just getting to the epic part!"

-"Ms. B, are you married yet? Because Alex is in love with you".

6th:
- "Ms. B, can you please please please come watch our dodgeball tournament at lunch? I want you to cheer for our class!"

7th:
-"Ms. B, you are like the coolest teacher alive. Can you work here like full time?"

-Student: "Ms. B, how do you pronounce your last name?"
Me: "Its pronounced Baufman. The gh makes the f sound, like in laugh or cough"
Student: "Oh, are you German?"

8th:
-"Ms. B, your eyes are so green. They are the color of money".

-Student: (a young man) "Ms. B, I like your watch. How much did it cost?"
Me: "I don't know, I got it at Target"
Student: "Why didn't you get a more expensive watch, aren't you a millionaire?"
Me: "Do I look like a millionaire?"
Student: "Well yes, Ms. B, I thought all millionaires were gorgeous like you".

11th:
- I was at a wealthier school district for high school, and I have never seen so many skinny girls and designer purses. I felt frumpy.

- I had a student showing his nipple ring with the new glow in the dark ball to students when I turned off the lights to watch a movie. I had to tell him to put that thing away.

- I also had a 5 minute conversation with a girl about nose rings. She came back at the end of the day to talk to me about other things too. She was the only normal looking girl I saw all day (i.e. wasn't size 000, wasn't powdering her nose and applying mascara every 5 minutes, and didn't have any designer wear). She was real and beautiful, I'm glad she came and talked to me.

12th:
-Student: "Is it Ms. or Mrs.?"
Me: "It's Ms."
Student: "YESS, you aren't married yet"

-"Ms. Baughman, will you go to the prom with me on Saturday? I'm 18, so it isn't illegal".

-"Um, I don't know if this is weird or not, but Chip B. told me to tell you he's in love with you"

-I also got passed a note that said "Ms. Baughman, do you like me? Yes No Maybe, circle one and pass back".

Happy (late) Mothers Day Mom!

Oh, how I love this woman. She is amazing. I don't have all the words to describe her. This year, it took me forever to find a perfect card for her. I really struggled in Target. There were no cards that showed our relationship just right. Sure, there were the funny ones that I knew she would love, and the sappy ones that would make her cry, but none were just right. So I wrote a huge long card on my own....a sheena original :).

She is my best friend, my source of peeing my pants laughter, my confidant, my encourager, my challenger, the pain in my bottom at times, the voice in my head that tells me to take a jacket in the morning, my teacher, the one who inspires me, the one who can tell me like it is, and my hero. We share an incredible and unique bond, I couldn't be happier of the person God placed in my life. I could go on and on about how amazing she is, and how proud I am of her.... :)

Since I couldn't spoil my momma for mothers day, I was able to spoil 3 mothers at the McGee family beach house! Erin, Lena, & I went Friday night, and it was so refreshing to smell the sea air. We got out of the car and heard the sea lions, they welcomed us there! Lena left early in the morning to be with her momma, but Erin and I stayed until Sunday evening. I got to meet the celebrity Gramma Flo, and had a blast with Erin's family. Although the weather was cloudy and chilly, it was amazing. We watched dolphins, played frisbee and t-ball on the beach, and just hung out. Oh, and ate. We ate good. Our menu included apple fritters, chicken/cranberry/walnut salad, steak and chicken kabobs with grilled peppers/onions/mushrooms/pineapple, strawberry cheesecake parfait, banana walnut overnight french toast, mozerella sticks, bacon wrapped filet mignon, beer broiled brats, potatoes/onions, toast, asparagus, and peach crosiants.

I got to know Erin's fam a lot better at the beach house. I found out that her sister Jamie likes pranks. And one was unintentionally on me. :) It was supposed to be for Erin, but I walked into the trap before they could stop me. Jamie put a twisty tie on the sprayer in the kitchen sink....so as I turned on the water to wash my hands, I got soaked. I stood there in shock, and it took me awhile to figure out that I needed to turn off the water. After this, the game was on. My family is always full of pranks, and life at camp has prepared me for such instances as this. After going over the menu, I knew dessert was the perfect time for some retaliation. So, I froze mayonnaise. Which looks exactly like ice cream when frozen. Which went perfectly over the peach crossiant dessert. Jamie took a bite, while her husband Chris videotapped. And she tried to be so polite, and calmly asked me what kind of ice cream it was. I turned around the carton, and calmly said "Oh, its slow churned vanilla". Everyone else was savoring their dessert, and Jamie took another spoonful of only the crossiant. Erin then started laughing, and Jamie knew it wasn't right. We are now even, although I somehow think there are still more pranks to come!

It was a fantastic weekend at a fantastic place, and I'm thankful for all those in my California family! And, I will be able to spoil my mom in a month when I go to visit :)

to deceive

–verb (used with object)

1.	to mislead by a false appearance or statement; delude: They deceived the enemy by disguising the destroyer as a freighter.

2.	to be unfaithful to (one's spouse or lover).

3.	Archaic. to while away (time).

–verb (used without object)

4.	to mislead or falsely persuade others; practice deceit: an engaging manner that easily deceives.

I subbed a 7th & 8th grade lower English class yesterday. My students rotated in 25 minute blocks, with me, independently, and with an aide. With me, we went through some vocabulary worksheets, and had great conversations. One of the words was appropriate to the week I've had. to deceive.

The textbook gave such examples of deceive as as:

- "We're going to pull weeds today. It will be so much fun!" (actually, in my mom's case, this is not deceiving....she really does make it fun!)

- "If you don't forward this e-mail to 7 people, they will die"

- "Tell me your secret, I promise I won't tell a soul"

These are okay examples, but here are some better ones....straight from my own life this week....

- A woman leaves with her lover. Leaves her husband, her children, her grandchildren. Leaves a job at a business, where the owners have recently had tragedy. Doesn't tell to anyone's face, instead writes a note. Pretends for months, while planning, that everything is okay. Lies in the face of so many. And why? Because its "her turn" to be happy. Entitlement. To deceive.

- A man leaves his wife for another woman. They were married a year and a half. Out of the blue, he throws her out. She thought they were happy. To deceive.

- A guy uses a girl for money. She thought she knew him and his intentions. To deceive.

I am angry, I am sad. I hurt for the people in my life that I am close to, and the effect the "deceivers" have. I am upset that one person can cause so much damage in the lives of many. And do they realize it? That's the sad thing....they actually know what they are doing, what will happen, and do it anyway. The ripple effect even one choice has is overwhelming. To see my family and friends, and myself hurt is overwhelming. It's hard to see the good in humanity right now.

But it's there. Although there are multiple "tragedies" going on in my life right now (seriously, who said bad things happen in 3's? This year, its more like bad things happen in 8's...and it's only May!), I know there will be blessings. A lot of people do choose good. The way people have helped out my family has been good. The way people have been there for me has been good. And the ripple effect that has is also overwhelming. We have to look to find it, but it's there. And I know all things work for the good of those who love HIM and are called according to HIS purpose. Although there is a lot of darkness, God will do good through this. And I am called to have hope. I am called to love these "deceivers" even though I honestly would like to slap some sense into them (or punch some sense into them...). They are still God's children, and loved by Him. Oh Lord, please help me remember that :)

I'm Back!

I've been back in California now for a week....and boy it has been busy! It was quite the ordeal getting back....I flew out of Minneapolis at 3:00pm, landed in Denver at 3:30pm, waited for my 5:30pm flight, which was delayed until 6:30 because they had to change the pilots seat, and was also overbooked, so I opted to fly on another flight to California that left at 9:30pm to get a free flight, it was delayed until 12am because two planes were broke....

But I made it, and now have a free flight to use before next April! Here's what I've been up to this week:

Tuesday: Got to my house from the airport at 2am, went to sleep at 3, woke up full of energy at 7. I cleaned, did laundry, and got organized. I met my friend and new classmate Colleen for Jamba Juice, then we went to class. Class got out early, so I went with Priscilla and Sarah to Pasadena to a leadership matrix conversation with Erwin McManus.

Wednesday: Slept in. Went on a long walk. Went to Colleen and Danny's new apartment in Pasadena, and ate lunch with Colleen and her brother-in-law Ben. We also walked on Colorado Blvd. in Pasadena, and went to 21 Choices, for frozen yogurt. Amazing place. We then went to class.

Thursday: I packed a lunch and went to sunset beach for a few hours. I returned home and Lena and I went grocery shopping for Friday's birthday party for Danny & Jason.

Friday: Colleen, Danny and Ben came over at 9am, I made them breakfast and we headed out for Disney! But...Disney was "blacked out" to our season passes, so we headed to Newport Beach and Balboa Island. We came back for the party, where my roommates and I made pesto pizza, pizookies, and strawberry cheesecake parfait! We had many guests, and it was so nice to see my Cali friends.

Saturday: I went to the Flower Festival in Carlsbad with the ladies from Mosaic. Sarah, Priscilla, Samantha and I rode together. The flower fields were gorgeous, and I had a great time taking pictures. After the flower fields, we went to the beach to relax, and it was much needed.

Sunday: Church! I was so excited to go back to my church. It was great to see everyone, and the message was on Brokenness, which was very fitting! After church, a few of us went out for lunch, then I headed to a sex trafficking rally.

Monday: Sick with a cold. Went for a walk, watched Chuck. Did pilates and went rollerblading with Priscilla.

Its great to be back, although its hard just talking to my parents on the phone and not being there in person. I've woken up a few times in California thinking I'm in Wisconsin, and that has been strange. I'm getting used to being back, and can't say enough how wonderful my friends are in California. It's really a wonderful place to be!

Pulled

I can't sleep. I'm trying to prepare my heart and mind for returning to California, but it's hard. Really hard.

I constantly feel pulled in two directions. I long to travel, to explore, to experience, to get out of my comfort zone. I long to fly. On the other hand, I long to be close to my family, to be connected to my small town, to be in a place where yes, everybody does know my name. I long to have roots. I feel a pretty much 50-50 to these two areas. Why? Why can't I just be one or the other?

I am excited for what California brings when I go back. I feel much more sure about going there than I did last August when moving. I have a community. I have incredible friends. I have a great and flexible job. I love my program. But my heart honestly breaks at leaving my parents. My whole life has changed. I have changed. California has changed. Where do I fit?

I sat on my bed just crying, and thought about the thousand other times I've cried in that bed for the 18 years I've had it. I thought, surely this time it is the worst. The situation is the worst. But no, there will always be something else, and that's life. And although I think things are hard now, I will be able to look back on this and know the growth that came from it. Just like I have with my other "break-downs" of break-ups, disappointments, fears, failures, and other trials. I can say with full confidence that God will use this, and will use me. He will provide. He will uplift me. He will renew me. He will restore my soul.

O LORD, please guard and guide my heart, for it is unsure, it is hurting. You know my heart, and I wait on you. Where You lead me, Lord, I will follow. I place my trust in You.

Psalm 28:6-8

⁶ Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

⁷ The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

⁸ The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Woah...

It's been about 2 months since I've written....and I need to fix that! I may feel this way right now as I'm procrastinating on my counseling final action plan that is due in a few days..... :)

A lot has happened within the last two months. Here's a glimpse:

Dad started chemo and radiation. Drove 2.5 hours every day to treatments for 30 days. Sang in car with my parents to "I'll Fly Away" every morning. Homework. Lots of homework for online classes. Read the Shack out loud to my parents. Got used to living in Sheldon again. Visited the Twin Cities. Saw Tyrone Wells, Drew Holcomb, and Dave Barnes in Twin Cities. Ate at Pizza Luce multiple times. Celebrated with Amy & Noah on their engagement. Spent time with quality friends. Analyzed Educational Philosophy. Read whole Advanced Psych book (I never do this....). Took many walks with my mom. Walked on the river (on the ice). Started jogging on treadmill. Cooked. Cleaned. Shoveled lots of snow. Learned how to plow driveway with the tractor. Prayed with my parents every night. Spent a lot of time with kids. Loved being a part of Sheldon Church of Christ again. Shopped. Made 4 mixed CD's. Got addicted to iTunes. Got new glasses. Had a surgery. Reconnected with old friends. Made new friends. Made a necklace. Scanned old pictures. Read Wide Awake to parents. Memorized new Bible verses. Had a small group. Loved having Tati visit from Brazil, Danine visit from Colorado, and Erin & Lena visit from California. Roadtripped to Chicago and celebrated with Colleen & Danny. Celebrated the end of dad's first round of treatments. Explored the woods. Watched the ice go out of the river. Played in the mud. Cried a lot. Laughed a lot. Hugged a lot. Saw many turkeys, raccoons, birds and other fun wildlife. Made new recipes. Danced with my mom in the living room. Had family get togethers. Learned from professors and classmates. Learned from family and friends. Learned from God.

I'm going back to California in less than 2 weeks, and have mixed feelings. I am so excited to go back because I miss my friends and "new family" there, but I know leaving my family in Wisconsin will hurt my heart. I know I've changed. I've grown. I'm broken in some areas. I feel like I've aged many years in the last 4 months. I know that my life must go on, and it is in California now. But leaving here is going to be tough. I am SO glad I have an amazing community in California, and God has taken care of me this far, so why won't He continue to, right? :) I can honestly say, I couldn't have done this without my Lord.

With only two weeks left in Wisconsin, I still have much to do....including: finish final counseling action plan; go to Flambeau High School Musical; celebrate with Caramy & Bryce's bridal shower; see family; play piano in church; spend time my grandparents; read more to my parents; clean out the woods with mom; spend some time at the cabin; have deep & real conversations with my dad; see friends; get hugs from my 'little guy' Henry; play cards with my mom; pack; and prepare my heart for ending my time in Wisconsin, and beginning again in California. Life is not dull, it is such an adventure, and I'm so thankful for the people God has placed in my life. :)