Merry Christmas!

A photo shoot for one of my best friends who is in Thailand doing missions this Christmas! My family loves her bunches, and will even go to the lengths of dressing up to show her how much we care :)

I absolutely love Christmas. Everything about it... the tree, the decorations, the celebrations, the food, the music, the Hallmark movies, and spending time with my favorite people. And of course the reason we even have Christmas, because Christ came down because of His immense love for us! I'm so blessed to be able to be home with my family this Christmas, and am soaking in every moment.

I am definitely my mother's daughter (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes....especially with those phrases I catch myself saying!), but we really are so much alike. We both sometimes have trouble paying attention, say silly things, adore children, get competitive playing cards, and enjoy the Christmas activities mentioned above. Especially the Christmas movies & music. And we thoroughly enjoy watching & listening unseasonably early. We've been known to partake in Christmas media in the spring and summer, and the Christmas lights on the outside of N371 Fern Rd. are never taken down. Our absolute favorite Christmas tune is O Holy Night (especially by Celine Dion or Josh Groban), but this year I find myself pushing the repeat button on another song. It's a song called Eternal Gifts by Kate York. The lyrics say this:

Santa knows what I want for Christmas
But Jesus knows what I need
It can’t be purchased wrapped up and placed
Under an 8 foot tree

I need patience, kindness - virtues like these
To bend on my knee at the manger

Santa may bring these that last for a year
But eternal gifts come from the Savior

Some days come where I’m playing selfish
I can’t think of no one but me
Then I think of all that I’m blessed with
And that’s always best to give than to receive

I need faithfulness, love, generosity
To open my home to a stranger

Santa may bring things that last for a year
But eternal gifts come from the Savior

I think this song struck me so much because many times (okay, a lot of the time) I am selfish. I think of the different things I want, including, but not limited to an Ipod, new eye makeup, bike, digital SLR camera, a few international plane tickets, a few lost pounds, a job as a school counselor at the right school for me, a God-honoring relationship (I am neither desperate or searching, just wouldn't complain if God brought someone my way), and for my dad to be completely cancer-free and live a long life to walk me down the aisle and be a grandfather and all that jazz. There's a long list of both insignificant and significant things that I may want, but these are things that I may not need. The list of wants will not give me long term satisfaction or joy, will not complete me, will not make me a better person (no matter how hard I try to justify it!). What I can take comfort in is the fact that my Savior does know what I need (patience, kindness, faithfulness, love generosity, etc.), and will give me those things that I ask for... but not necessarily in the ways I might expect. Those virtues and fruits of the Spirit may come through struggles and failures, such as not being able to find a job, living a long-term single life, or through losing my father. In the big picture, those gifts of the Spirit are much more important than being able to listen to 160 GB's of commercial free music on my hour-long morning commute or having the fairytale romance of the century (thank you Hallmark channel...).

What I have been challenged by this Christmas is to think about the bigger picture. I just finished the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and highly recommend it. In this book, the author talks about our lives as a story. In the movies, the character has to struggle and overcome adversary for us to be engaged. The character has to live a moving and dynamic life for us to even care about what happens. The same is true for us, life-changing events and difficult times do challenge us and change our stories to be more moving. I think of the real-life stories in the Bible, and wow, did they live dynamic lives. Miller has a chapter entitled "A Tree in a Story About a Forest", and this reminded me that although I am a part of the story, it's not all about me (I know, what a concept for an only child ;). It's not about what I want and the things I want to do, instead, it is about the qualities Jesus knows I need so that He can use me as part of His story. His story about love, forgiveness, justice, and peace. His story about loving His children so much that He came down to live and to die, so that we could know Him more. His story that will end in a victory one day, where I'm confident I won't care about losing those few pounds or riding that yellow beach cruiser.

Bigger picture is hard to look at, but I'm praying I can remember this everyday, instead of just on Jesus' birthday. I am praying that I can submit and surrender my wants and heart's desires at the feet of Jesus, and receive those eternal gifts and qualities I am so badly in need of. I am praying that I will continually trust in God to be the author of my story, and not try to control it myself. Thankfully He has given the promise of a new life with Him, and although I most likely won't get things on my perpetual want list, I will be able to sing Christmas hymns for all eternity!